


ADRIFT

by DeanandCas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rape, Slow Build, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-11-20 07:58:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 38,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11331669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeanandCas/pseuds/DeanandCas
Summary: Dean Winchester is an FBI agent working on the most important investigation of his life. An investigation that takes him to the other hemisphere, to the heart of the Amazon rainforest. Unexpectedly, his path intersects with that of biologist Castiel Novak.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [À deriva](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1704239) by [DeanandCas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeanandCas/pseuds/DeanandCas). 



> This story was originally written in Brazilian Portuguese. I'm trying my best to translate this fic to English but it is unbetaed so if you spot any mistakes feel free to correct me or give any suggestions to improve understanding.

 

_"Be careful. I should be there instead of you. "_

"OK. I'll call to let you know when I arrive. "

_"Do you have all the documents?"_

"Sure, who do you think I am?"

_"Sorry, I am a little anxious..."_

"Tell your beautiful wife to hold the boy in until I come back. I want to see your face when they put the _'little moose'_ in your arms for the first time..."

_"She won’t be happy with your suggestion. She can’t wait for him to be born, after the last two false alarms... She's huge! "_

"Who told her to marry a Sasquatch? If she had married a normal-sized human... Hey, they're calling me, time to board. "

_"Don’t drink too much, okay? Everything will be all right, you’ll see. The flight and the... business, everything is going to be OK, so stay calm. "_

 "I'll try not to ‘depressurize the cabin', that's what alcohol is for, right?"

Dean hung up the phone and headed for the jet on the tarmac. His flying phobia could not be an impediment for the job. He adjusted his tie and took off his sunglasses, putting them in his jacket pocket. A redheaded flight attendant greeted him with a smile, which he returned as he made his way to his appointed seat.

The young woman offered him a drink, which he readily accepted; his palms were already sweaty in the face of the anxiety that this long flight would cause him. He needed to keep himself under control; his mission was of the utmost importance. Much depended on his professional competence.

"Mr. Heyerdall is coming. We'll be off in 20 minutes. He gave me instructions to make you comfortable. Is there anything I can do for you, Mr. Smith? "And she smiled again, and Dean could swear that there was much more to that smile than simply offering a drink.

"Thank you. Just a beer, please. "

The curvaceous attendant walked away, professionalism apparent in the way she continued to smile even though Dean had dismissed her from other services. Knowing Alastair Heyerdall as he knew him and his frequent associates, he could well imagine the range of services she would be willing to offer. Alastair was indeed a generous person to his associates. But he was terrible to those who interfere with his business. And that's what Dean was there to do.

Dean Winchester believed he had a good life, though. He was good at his job at the FBI, where he could do what he had always wanted, that is, follow in his father's footsteps. His admiration for him and for everything he represented to the Bureau had always made Dean want to work there and prove his worth.

His younger brother was a law graduate and worked for a large law firm. He had married a girl too good for him and was about to give birth to another Winchester. Dean felt that it was a pity his father was no longer present to meet his grandson. He was sure that this child could make John and Sam finally understand each other. But John had died months before Sam’s wedding, and Dean was sorry that he hadn’t gone over his rigid convictions that his youngest son also had to join the FBI. But Sam had always been determined, and a career in law was what he wanted.

Now, with his eyes closed, leaning back in the private jet seat, waiting for millionaire Alastair Heyerdall to accompany him on a journey of more than six thousand miles, Agent Winchester took a deep breath and sought to focus on his work. Dean never imagined that such work would take him to another hemisphere on a journey he had voluntarily never thought of doing. For all intents and purposes, he was also a lawyer and was replacing Sam on this trip, which was rendered impossible by the imminent birth of his son. Sam had alerted the FBI months before any possible connection of this client with drug trafficking and Dean had been investigating since.

When a trip to Colombia, in order to acquire lands for environmental conservation, through the Heyerdall Foundation for the Preservation of the Tropical Forest was scheduled and Alastair needed a lawyer to deal with the legal aspects of the transaction, Sam had been chosen. Dean, knowing about the negotiation and the role of his brother in it, had tried to dissuade him at all costs. Through his investigations he had discovered that the millionaire was a ruthless and dangerous man, and his brotherly instinct was that Sam should step aside. Dean wanted to take his place, which Sam had strictly refused to do. As if by divine intervention, his nephew decided to arrive earlier than expected and this had been used by Dean to convince Sam that he could do the job and further investigate the suspect more closely.

It has been weeks of intensive preparation for Dean to be there, posing as a lawyer for Singer & Harvelle. Dean had been introduced to Heyerdall as a brilliant lawyer, fully capable of replacing Sam, whom the businessman had in high regard. At first displeased, the millionaire accepted the arrangement after torturing Dean in a private interview, in which the older Winchester had done well due to the intensive preparation and occasional electronic intervention of Sam, who was connected to him through the FBI equipment.

Alaistar Heyerdall got on the plane and his presence caused a stir among the flight attendants. Dean opened his eyes and watched the mixture of fascination and fear that gleamed in the red-haired commissary's gaze. _She worships him_ , Dean thought. The young woman worshipped him like a mighty god whom one shouldn’t confront. A god who seemed benevolent, generous, and affable, but under that image hid a violent and uncontrollable fury. There would be relentless retribution in face of betrayal.

Dean listened to the soft voice that politely directed the underlings. The young woman seemed trembling in the face of his attention, divided between flattery and an unexpected shyness in front of the man she admired. Dean had already seen the same effect in other of his employees. He was someone to be loved and feared in equal measure. But Dean Winchester didn’t fear anyone.

Dean stood to meet the millionaire, who was approaching him with a soft smile and an outstretched hand:

“Mr. Smith, I'm sorry for the wait. I hope it wasn’t too tedious. Did Josie help making you feel comfortable? "

"Mr. Heyerdall, your hospitality is legendary, thank you. "              

"Well, we'll leave immediately. I hope we can discuss some of the points in dispute in the agreement during the flight. But I have other matters to discuss at the moment and I hope you have a good trip. Josie and Brady will meet _any_ needs you may have. Feel free to request _whatever you wish._ " The implications were obvious, Dean couldn’t help noticing. And he withdrew, with a soft and at the same time frightening look to the two attendants at the door of the cabin.

Dean sat down again, looking at the two young men who accompanied the boss to his private area. Dean, apparently, would travel along with a few other of the millionaire advisors, as there were a few more vacant seats, but at the moment he was alone. He took a deep breath and another sip of the beer, wishing he had ordered something stronger. And he wondered what it meant to "feel free to ask for what you want." For a moment he wondered if Heyerdall was suspicious of Dean’s attraction to both men and women when he offered Josie and Brady's services. In other circumstances, either of them could have caught their attention. They were both young and attractive. But at the moment, Dean had to focus on the job and he dismissed the possibility. It was not professional to mix work and pleasure. His father had taught him that.

 

Three thousand, eight hundred miles. This was the distance that they would cover in the first part of the trip, from Washington to Manaus, Brazil. From there, they would take a boat, a yacht in fact, to reach Leticia, a city on the border between Brazil and Colombia. Another two thousand, five hundred miles, but the cruise should be appreciated as a gift, according to the environmentalist. After all, Alastair had told him that it was a pleasure to be able to enjoy the beauties of the Amazon Rainforest in his luxurious boat, and that Dean should see this moment as an opportunity to relax and prepare for the tough negotiations that would happen in Colombia.

Arriving in Manaus, Dean and his companions were taken to a luxury hotel, where they were to spend the night and rest from the long flight. The next morning they would continue their journey. Exhausted by the stressful situation he had been through, he followed the directions carefully, taking a long shower and falling into bed shortly thereafter.

 

At three-thirty in the morning, he woke with a start. At first he couldn’t remember where he was, surrounded by a strange environment. But in few seconds he was already in full possession of his faculties, and the feeling of something out of the ordinary made him uncomfortable. He rose quietly from the bed and went to the door leading to the living room of his suite. Through the half-open door, he peered into the room. It was dark. No movement or sound. He waited a few more moments and walked in. He went to the door leading to the outside corridor and checked the lock. Locked, as it should be. He turned again toward the living room, and in the dim light that came through the window, he looked at it carefully. He exhaled calmly and ran his hand through his hair before returning to the bedroom. As he passed the table where he had left the briefcase with the transaction papers, he noticed something different. It was in the wrong place. He had left it on the table, lined with the pot of tropical flowers and now it was closer to the edge. Just a little distant from where it should be, but his trained eyes immediately grasped the difference. Someone had been in his room and tampered with his belongings. He was sure of it and it was not good.

 

Dean lay in the dark, but did not go back to sleep. He was fully alert now. Alaistar must have had some reason to suspect him. Dean was sure he had not discovered anything. There was nothing suspicious about his luggage, he had made sure there was nothing incriminating about it.

But the fact that he was under the scrutiny of the millionaire sent off an alarm in his mind. He hoped Alastair wasn’t aware of his real FBI job, but he couldn’t be sure. As an agent, it was his decision to give up the mission now or take any risk. As a Winchester, he decided for the continuity. He only needed to alert Sammy to what had happened, because if they were suspicious of him they might suspect his brother too.                

But he could not risk any kind of contact. It would be the end of the mission. He was sure that Alastair would take action if any contact was detected. Dean dismissed this possibility. He would go forward as planned. He would be more vigilant than ever.

At the scheduled time, he went down to find Alastair Heyerdall's entourage at the restaurant. The financial advisors and his private secretary were seated at a table and Dean joined them. The conversation was shallow and they talked about the trip they would take. Only the tycoon's private secretary, Ruby, would be on the yacht with them, the other two would go by plane to make preparations for the business meeting of the next few days.

Ruby turned to him, smiling at him in an insinuating way:

"Have you ever taken a cruise through the Amazon, Mr. Smith?"

"No, Ms. Cortese, I haven’t had this opportunity yet. I hope it's as exciting as everyone wants to make me believe. "

"You will not be disappointed, I'm sure. I have had the opportunity of making this crossing countless times and I there are still surprises... "And the look that accompanied these words could be described as ‘predatory ‘.

"Hm, should I prepare for an... exciting trip, then?" Dean returned her gaze, showing his most seductive smile, which clearly pleased the secretary.

The other staff members exchanged a look and apologized, leaving the table.

"Everything indicates that it will be much more exciting than the average cruise... Well, we’ll leave in 45 minutes. Be at the dock on time, Mr. Smith. Mr. Heyerdall appreciates punctuality. "

Dean was left alone to finish his breakfast. And to meditate on her words.


	2. Chapter 2

Mr. Heyerdall's yacht was really impressive. They took a boat in the fluvial port of Manaus, which took them directly to the yacht that was anchored a few miles upriver. Dean could not help the whistle that escaped his lips when he first saw the luxurious ship.

"Yes, Mr. Smith, it's a beautiful ship. I think you'll appreciate it even more when we're on board.” Heyerdall smiled proudly at his ‘toy’.

Dean climbed aboard after the millionaire, followed by the entourage of three more people: Ruby, Lilith and Crowley. Lilith, he was informed, was Alastair's physiotherapist and personal trainer and Crowley, his number one bodyguard. Dean thought it was funny that this short, squat man was called the Chief of Security, but only until the moment of meeting his cold eyes that sent shivers down his spine. In the matter of intimidation Crowley was a giant.

A uniformed clerk took him to a very well furnished cabin, from which he would have a spectacular view of the Amazon River and the rainforest. Ruby was led into the contiguous cabin, and before she entered she gave him a smile and a wink, both utterly indecent.

Before closing the door Dean heard Lilith’s voice, who had apparently been lodged in the cabin in front of his. Dean started to think where Crowley would sleep, but concluded that probably on another deck, near to the main cabin.

After a leisurely lunch, Dean was taken to see the rest of the vessel by Ruby, by Alastair’s orders. She knew the _LILA-LU mega yacht_ well, having accompanied the entrepreneur several times on his cruises through the Amazon rainforest. The ship was like a luxury hotel, with its ample rooms decorated with care, the complete gymnasium, the movie theater on board. The top deck could hold a crowd comfortably on its sun loungers and sofas.

But the yacht had only five passengers, besides the employees: sailors, waiters, janitors, chefs, security guards made up a small army of people willing to attend to their minimum wishes. Dean watched as Ruby and Lilith seemed at ease giving orders, while he could not help feeling bad for the people who were treated with such superiority and contempt. What impressed him most was the fact that Heyerdall himself did not do it, treating everyone with that gentle yet firm attitude. He was a man who knew his own power and acted as he pitied the less fortunate.

But the FBI agent knew that this was a façade. He knew Heyerdall was inclement. There were several suspicions of illegal activities involving their share of violence.

Dean was lying on a chair on the deck in the late afternoon, admiring the stupendous colors of the sunset. Alastair had been very purposeful in telling him that this tour was part of his education, that they had come here so he could appreciate the environment and the opportunity given to him to experience it in such comfortable circumstances. He had promised that they would get to know the fauna and flora more closely, in some expeditions in the days that followed, before the preparation for the meeting that would take place on the border with Colombia in eight days.

Dean’s hand was cradling a chilled beer of his favorite brand, and he appreciate the sounds of the forest in total solitude as he noticed the two other passengers approaching, chatting leisurely. As Ruby approached, she brushed her fingers suggestively on the back of Dean's chair, lightly touching his hair. She also leaned back, kicking off her sandals and crossing her legs, which were exposed by the short dress. Lilith, looking bored, sat down on the other side of Dean. A waiter came quickly to know what they would like to drink.               

"Hm, I’ll have my usual," Lilith said. Ruby ordered what she wanted and glanced at Dean's nearly empty bottle.

"Would you like another beer? Or maybe... something stronger?” Dean didn’t want to drink much, intending to be alert to what was happening around him. But if he didn’t interact with the other people on board it could attract suspicion. He ordered a whiskey.

Within seconds the drinks were brought. Ruby did everything to make conversation, lightly touching Dean as she spoke. A touch on the arm, a touch of feet. Dean realized that she was trying to seduce him. In other circumstances he would probably have let himself go, but here he perceived the danger. What if she was the millionaire's lover?

 Lilith, after a few moments, stood up and leaned against the rail, her back to them.

Ruby, taking advantage of Dean's distraction, moved closer to touch his lips to his ear.

"Dean, get down to my cabin with me ..." she whispered.

Alarmed, he turned to the dark-haired woman, trying to disguise his surprise.

Before he could answer, he felt Lilith's hand on his thigh. She had come up silently.

"Hmmm, may I join you two?" She asked, bluntly.

"Of course, as long as Dean wants our company... He looks kind of scared of the two of us ... Maybe he needs to relax a bit. Andy, one more drink! "

And so Dean found himself surrounded by the two beautiful employees of Heyerdall, who took it upon themselves to make him enjoy the journey even more.

 

Trying to stay as sober as possible, he followed the two women downstairs to the lower deck, one on each arm. On the way, they found Alastair, who gave them an amused look.

"All right, girls, take good care of Mr Smith. He needs to be relaxed when we get to Leticia. Caballero's legal advisors are implacable." And then he completed "Mr. Smith, this is a privilege only a few have had. Lilith and Ruby, together, well..." he left the sentence unfinished, but his look said everything.

Felling at ease with the millionaire's permission, Dean braced himself then, mentally for what would happen in Ruby's cabin. Well, if he could stay alert and still enjoy the company of the two women, so be it.

The next morning he woke up in his own cabin, not quite sure how he'd gotten there. Then he remembered everything that had happened in the cabin next door. It had been an educational experience, he thought. The two women were extremely sensual and uninhibited and made him feel very good.

He got up, got dressed and asked for breakfast through the intercom, hangover being the only negative point of the evening.

After eating and taking some painkillers, he went upstairs to find Heyerdall in his office, as the waiter had advised him when he came to pick up the cart after the meal.

Crowley was leaving the room when Dean arrived. Impressively he was dressed in his usual, impeccable black suit. Dean felt insecure about his white polo shirt and shorts when he touched the doorknob to get inside.

He found the businessman also dressed informally, which reassured him. He seemed in a good mood and spoke animatedly.

“Mr. Smith, I have a surprise for you today. I see you are dressed appropriately for our brief excursion. I only advise you to change your sandals for boots and make use of sunscreen and insect repellent. "

“Mr. Heyerdall, I am honored by the opportunity. When do we leave? "

"In a few minutes. I've already sent word to Ms. Cortese, she will accompany us. "

Dean headed for the upper deck and waited. He thought of Sammy, if he had been the lawyer on this trip. How hard it would have been to refuse the offer of the two women. And how he would still refuse, always faithful to Madison. He envied what his brother had, with his happy marriage and son on the way. But that was not for him. Work was his life and he had never had the time to devote himself to meeting someone, learning to love someone in the long run.

Ruby approached, elegant in her khaki set of shorts and shirt, sunglasses and panama hat. His smile remained provocative, though she made no mention of any undue advance. She was in her professional mode.

Ruby piloted the boat that took them near the shores, where Dean could observe various types of birds with their colorful plumage, as well as some animals that he only had seen on TV. Heyerdall spoke fluently about the ecosystem and how a small imbalance could cause a major breach. His speech was enthusiastic and punctuated by scientific terms. The millionaire seemed to have thoroughly studied the fauna of the region. He represented the role of environmentalist very well, the agent thought. Perhaps it was not even an act, he might have had an interest in it, in parallel with his shady business.

They returned early in the afternoon for lunch. Alastair advised Dean to watch some of the documentaries in his cabin, so he could better enjoy the little exploratory trips they would make in the days to come.

When Ruby knocked on his door to invite him to dinner, she found him entertained with a documentary about the great Amazonian felines.

 

A routine settled down. Every day Dean and Heyerdall made their river tours. Sometimes they watched the vegetation, sometimes some particular animal. They also visited several places where human action was devastating. Ruby usually drove the boat. Sometimes Lilith accompanied them too, but her attitude was always one of veiled boredom. She seemed out of place in this wild environment, unlike the brunette, who looked like she felt in her element.

The nights were another story. Sometimes Dean stayed in his room and received a visit from Ruby. In others, it was Lilith who called him to her cabin. And one night in particular, the two of them cornered him in the movie theatre, where he was watching one of his favorite films, coming in there naked and carrying bottles of champagne, locking the door to ensure their privacy.

On the sixth day, Heyerdall warned him that he should prepare for a surprise, the biggest of his trip until now. Dean could not imagine what it would be, having enjoyed so many new things. He was almost numb, it seemed he was on vacation, the best vacation of his life.

Arriving at the boat, Crowley was present, which was odd. He never accompanied them in those tours. He was dressed all black as usual, but wearing shorts, a polo shirt and cap. His legs and arms were very pale, as if they were rarely exposed to the sun.

The two women were also on board and talking quietly, occasionally exchanging a smile. Lilith looked more excited today, less bored.

They left, and Heyerdall seemed particularly in good spirits. He offered everyone a toast, since this day would be special, he was sure. Dean drank the champagne, inhaling the pure air of the forest, thinking of what awaited him next.

The boat was traveling at a great speed, rapidly moving away from the yacht. Dean was surprised that this time, instead of being on the main river Crowley drove the boat to one of the tributaries, which Heyerdall explained it was the Japura River. They followed for about an hour before going deeper into the forest, following one of the smaller streams. Dean was impressed by the proximity to the forest and was lost in thought when he saw something unfamiliar in the landscape. There was a building on one of the banks. There was a small dock, and Crowley maneuvered to propel the boat alongside it.  Finally they would go to dry land since they had left Manaus. It has been almost a week on the yacht. Was that the surprise the millionaire had been talking about?

They docked and Heyerdall invited Dean to accompany him, while the others headed toward the small building, which Dean realized must be some sort of lodging. They walked along the shore for a few meters, Alastair as always speaking of this or that plant species, turning his attention especially to the bromeliads, which were of his predilection. They were splendid there in their natural habitat, and even Dean, who had no great interest in the subject, had to agree they were beautiful.

After a few minutes, Alastair turned and started walking toward the glade where the building was. He stood at the door, and before turning the knob he said to Dean:

"Well, now the surprise. I hope you will enjoy it as much as I know I'll appreciate it. "

And he opened the door, allowing Dean to enter first. Everything was dark, there were no windows, the only light coming through the doorway. But that did not last long, for it was closed with a crash behind Dean. He was startled and turned, trying to open the door. Outside, a calm Alastair said to him, the sound muffled: "No, no, Mr. Smith. It's your surprise. Stay calm and you'll find out what it's all about. "

The internal alarms in his mind began to sound. His worst fears came to the surface. He had allowed himself to be caught. It took Dean a few seconds to see something because of the contrast between the external brightness and this closed environment. Slowly he discerned some sparse pieces of furniture, which looked more like hospital equipment.

It was cold. His senses were sharpened by the insecurity. He heard the slightest noise, and as he turned again toward the door, he was hit hard at the back of his head.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for torture and rape in this chapter.

It was still dark when Dean woke up. Around him were the sounds of the forest, of the river. He tried to get up and realized he was immobilized, his wrists, waist and feet tied to what looked like a gurney. The surface on which he lay was metallic. He was naked.

He began to struggle, trying to break free, before he stopped and decided to think rationally. This had been a trap, he realized and kicked himself mentally for lowering his guard, for being tricked by Alastair’s devices.

After a few minutes evaluating the situation, he heard the door opening.

He turned his head slowly, glimpsing the silhouette of the two Heyerdall employees.

Ruby switched on the light and came toward him while Lilith headed for a closet in one corner of the room. Dean realized now that it looked like a surgical center, which was alarming.

"I hope you're comfortable, Dean," Ruby said, running her hand sensuously down his abdomen and making him shiver. "Now the fun will begin..." she cupped his chin in her hands, as if to kiss him. But she just inhaled deeply, gave a smile and stepped away, allowing Lilith to stick a syringe on his forearm. She didn’t look bored anymore.

He couldn’t tell how much time passed. It was always dark when he woke up alone. There was only light when Ruby or Lilith were with him. But he barely noticed, such as the effect of the drugs they injected into him. It was disorienting. He could have spoken, he could have ruined everything, from what he knew. Or maybe not, since they kept coming and he was still alive. He tried not to move, because the movements and sounds he made attracted the women back. Dean tried to think of a way to escape, but he felt dizzy and weak. He was hungry and thirsty. He feared the worst, but his mind refused to give up.

The door opened again and the lights were turned on. Dean pretended to still be asleep and did not move when he heard the movement of people coming in.

He felt Ruby's touch on his carotid. Her icy fingers with long nails scratched at his skin and he involuntarily cringed. She whispered in Dean’s ear:

"Dean, it's your last chance. Lilith will be here in a few minutes, and I advise you to cooperate this time. If this fails, other measures will be taken. And I won’t be here to take care of you anymore..." So Dean was sure he hadn’t said anything, or at least he hadn’t told them everything and he was still worth keeping alive.

But in a few minutes his mind was clouded again by the effect of the drugs injected into his body by Lilith's skilful hands.

This time he woke up and it wasn’t dark anymore. The light was on above his head. But he was gagged and tied by his arms and legs in an upright position. He heard sounds to the left, but before he could turn to look he was struck in the face by a fist. Dizzy, he felt the blood dripping down his face, and in the midst of the pain, he caught sight of Crowley's face.

The beating sessions by Heyerdall's Security Chief were long. From time to time he'd take the gag off and ask a question. Dean was still silent. He was surprised by his internal resolution that prevented him from speaking in the face of such pain. He was covered in bruises and at least two of his left hand fingers were broken. One eye wouldn’t open because of the swelling on his face. But he was silent, knowing that many other people depended on his silence. Especially Sam.

When he was unconscious, he was often surprised by a bucket of cold water, and the torture continued until he got unconscious again. When water didn’t wake him up, Crowley would walk away and leave him alone for a while.

Now the light always on and it was a constant torment. Dean had no idea if it was day or night outside. Most of the time he was unconscious from the beatings. His torso was burned at various places by cigarette butts and this was the most excruciating pain, the fractured limbs giving him a throbbing and constant pain, as a grave backdrop to a symphony of higher notes.

He realized that his position was no longer the same. He was no longer bound by the arms and legs in the star-shaped metal frame Crowley had used to torture him.

His feet were spread apart, tied to the legs of the gurney to which he had been initially tied. He realized now that it was fixed to the floor. His body was bent over the metal surface, his abdomen resting on the surface of the table, his arms tied to the ends of the gurney. His head and chest hung over the opposing ledge and he could see his feet fastened by thick chains and padlocks underneath.

The light was on, and a sound coming from behind woke him from his thoughts.

"Ah, Mr. Smith, I see you're with us again. It's good to see how resilient you are. I always suspected you were like this and it made me even more interested in how this was going to unfold. I wanted to come and talk to you, but there are procedures to be followed, even if I have imposed them myself. "

He spoke in his usual, monotonous, calm tone. It didn’t seem to anyone who heard it to be altered in any way. But if they looked into his eyes they would see the change. They were thrilled by the prospect unfolding before them.

"It would be better if you had succumbed to my girls, Mr. Winchester. They are hard, but their weapons are less painful. So I had to send Crowley, which makes me angry, because his treatment tends to disfigure the subjects a bit. And in your case I find this extremely revolting. "

Dean took a deep breath, trying to figure out what Heyerdall was up to with that speech. But he did not have to wait long, for he kept talking.

"You are very attractive, Mr. Smith. I'm afraid this is a fact to which you are accustomed. Your good looks are extremely exciting. Well, at the moment you are not as attractive as you were when you got here. But that doesn't matter, for what I have in mind I believe will finally make you speak. "

The silence that followed was the most frightening of all that had happened since Dean had been incarcerated here. He could only hear his own panting.

Suddenly Dean felt. He felt something at the back of his thighs. He opened his eyes and saw, under the table, Alastair's legs behind his. Desperate, he struggled, moving away from what he knew to be Heyerdall's naked body.

"Easy, Mr. Smith. Or should I call you _Dean_ from now on, since we're about to get more... how shall I put it... intimate? "

Dean began to scream and struggle more intensely, but Alastair's hands on his hips felt like steel.

"Of course this will only happen if you don’t want to talk. I am giving you the opportunity to get out of this unharmed... well, mostly unharmed. I am willing to give up what would be an extreme pleasure for me in exchange for information. "

Dean could only scream, in despair, while within his mind a battle was happening. _Be silent and continue to suffer all manner of abuse from this man. Speak and expose your life and the lives of your collaborators to his fury. Expose your brother. Your sister in law. Your nephew._ When he got to this point, there was no more conflict. The only possible decision was to shut up and submit to the humiliation and violence of this monster's actions.

Dean shook his head and said defiantly, though his voice denoted despair:

"Fuck you, Mr. Heyerdall!"

"Oh, Dean, it's something along these lines that I have in mind ..."

When Dean awoke, in what he imagined to be many hours later, he felt exhausted. Broke. He wondered why he was still alive. He wanted to die. His body ached as if it had been exposed directly to the flames. He wanted someone to come and end his suffering if it meant that he would continue to protect his family in death.

He continued for a long time oscillating between consciousness and a whirlwind of nightmares.

Finally, he heard the door open. He prayed that he would be his executioner and that everything would finally come to an end.

Dean closed his eyes, waiting. His breath was barely perceptible now.

He felt someone approach behind him and he made a feeble attempt to pull away.

A hand touched his ankle. He opened his eyes and saw that he was being released from the chains on his feet. But he didn’t have the strength to lean on them.

It was Crowley who had let him off the table. Dean was prostrate and could not fight. Crowley grabbed him by the hair and looked into his face, the contempt clear on his features.

He whispered, his hot breath close to Dean's ear:

"If you want to get out of here alive, do not make any sudden moves. Silence!"

Dean didn’t understand. Crowley had come in to kill him, he was sure, and now he was talking about getting out of there alive?

Crowley wrapped an arm around under his arms and helped him to his feet. So much time with his head down he made him dizzy. Dean had to lean on the table and on Crowley.

"I'll take you to a boat. Get in and get out of here. Flee. And never look back. Don’t come after Alastair. "

"I ... don’t... understand..." Dean stammered.

 "You just have to remember that _I_ helped you, Dean. _I saved you_ " he said as he dragged Dean's almost inert body through the woods to a rudimentary canoe in the stream. Unceremoniously he dropped the agent's injured body inside and pushed it toward the current.

It was night.

The darkest and longest night of Dean's life.


	4. Chapter 4

Dr. Castiel James Novak walked easily through the forest. He was on his way to his simple canoe, attached to the bank of the stream. He carried a backpack with his equipment.

Behind him he left his quarters, the place he had lived for almost three years, but which he could not call home.

It was a container converted into lodging. It had a living room with kitchen, a bedroom, a bathroom and an awning that served as a kind of porch with a deck, where there was a hammock and a table with a chair. There was also a generator, which allowed him certain comforts, such as electric light and running water. This was a project of the engineers of his university, after all. It was planned as housing for scientists in remote environments. This one had been adapted to the Amazon conditions. Rainwater was collected and went through a process to become drinkable. It was the minimum necessary to survive and Castiel didn't have any luxuries.

Taking a deep breath, he set foot in the canoe, settled himself, and began to row. He looked at the map, covered in small, numbered, yellow triangles, and calculated the route to one of the most distant point. It would take about two hours to get there. But it was a beautiful day, it was not too hot yet, and Castiel was surrounded by the morning sounds of the forest.

Dean realized it was day when his injured body began to feel the sunshine.

He remembered that he was in a canoe, on the river, and that Crowley had helped him get there. He had told him to flee, that he had saved him, but Dean realized now that this was only a more time-consuming and torturous way to die. He would die of thirst and hunger, he would drownif the canoe turned, perhaps devoured by the fish. Or sunstroke. His end was certain. Alastair and his minions made sure that he would suffer horribly until the end.

He could feel the canoe slowly advancing in the current. He did not have the strength to lift his head and look where he was going. He only thought that he had managed to protect his mission and his family and thought he could die in peace. He abandoned consciousness again, waiting for the relief that would come on the wings of death.

 

Castiel was almost at the point marked on the map. He was an American biologist who came to the Amazon to investigate the survival of the bees. In the face of reports from various parts of the world of the disappearance of several species of bees, he had volunteered to monitor the native swarms to see if the process had already been noticed in that region of the Brazilian rainforest.

It was his routine to visit different points of the forest where he had left instruments for monitoring the hives. He collected the data and checked the integrity of the equipment before returning to his lodge and transferring the data to his laptop.

He lived in complete isolation there. There was, of course, the monthly visit of an University employee who brought him supplies and took the results to be posted online to the university in Boston. He also brought him books, scientific journals and some novels. There was no internet or phone access, and among researchers this was considered a high-risk research. There was no way of getting medical help in case of an emergency and the scientist was totally dependent on his middleman for basic survival items.

But none of this had stopped Castiel when he had decided to come here. He loved his field of research and had nothing to lose. He might as well go into work that he believed could benefit all of humanity in the future. He had signed a compromise agreement assuming any and all problems that might result in his death or permanent damage, thus exempting the University from any responsibility.

This particular spot on the map was one that he visited sporadically, for he had not noticed the presence of hives in large numbers. But he had to check the equipment, which he was supposed to watch over.

He was distracted by looking at the map, wondering if he could extend the trip. He was feeling OK and he felt he could spend another hour or two and check another point.

His canoe was struck lightly by some object, which made him jerk his head, startled. He had thought it was a branch in the current, but he was surprised to realize that it was another canoe, much simpler and in a very poor state of repair. His shock was even greater when he saw inside it what appeared to be a body. It was covered in bruises and sunburned. His face was covered by one of his arms, from which hung a hand totally deformed by swelling. Some of the fingers were almost black.

Returning to his natural state of calmness, after the initial surprise, he decided to check if the person was really dead. He could see no signs of breathing, but he had to be sure.

He moved slowly over and touched the man’s shoulder. The skin burned. The man was not only alive but he burned with fever. His arm slipped, revealing the man's battered face, bloody lips, black eyes. 

Acting promptly, he tried to transfer the inert body of the other man to his canoe. The task proved almost impossible, so Castiel tied the other canoe to his own, deciding to return to his camp immediately. Before beginning the return journey, he moistened the wounded man's lips and covered his body with his raincoat, which he always carried in his backpack, to face the humid climate of the forest.

He began to row with renewed force, checking from time to time the condition of the stranger he had found adrift.

Castiel was exhausted, he had not exerted himself in such a way for some time. He had tied his canoe to the usual place and began to pull the other to the shore. He thought he should pull the canoe with the man inside to the house. It was easier than trying to carry the inert body without knocking it over.

The task was not easy, the ground being covered with roots and vegetation that catched in the cracks of the old and dilapidated vessel. When he reached his lodge, he was out of breath. The unconscious man looked taller than him. Castiel touched his forehead and noticed that he still had a fever. He could not imagine how the man had ended up where he had found him or how long he had been adrift.

He wrapped his arms around the man's body and slowly lifted him. He was heavy.  He opened the door with difficulty and headed for the bedroom. He pushed the mosquito net away and laid the man on his bed.

He was in a deplorable state. He probably suffered some kind of accident - what else could it be? - and had ended up in the river, in that canoe. His skin was sunburned, he was covered in insect bites and there was dried blood in several places on his body.

Not letting himself feel intimidated or angry with the situation, he got a bucket of clean water, some towels and his first aid kit.

He began by washing the face with very soft movements. There was blood around the mouth and nostrils. His lips were swollen and his nose felt fractured, but as he checked more carefully, he couldn't be sure. It was swollen so he must have been hit hard. The outline of his eyes was totally darkened by bruises and he did what he could to clean the skin without causing further damage. The hair was also plastered with clotted blood, especially at the nape of the neck, where there was a large bump.

He continued to clean his neck, his torso, where he noticed the circular marks of burns that had not been caused by the sun. He suspected they were cigarette burns. Had this man been tortured? Who would he be and why would they have done all this to him?

Castiel scrubbed his legs which were covered in mud. He must have been dragged, because his feet were raw and one of his toes lost the nail.

He swallowed a wave of revulsion and nausea at the thought of the cruelty of people. Nothing justified a treatment like that. He had to try to save the life of this man, whoever he was.

Castiel had left the man’s arms and hands to the end, particularly his left hand, which seemed deformed from the swelling. He noticed fractures in two fingers, the middle and the ring fingers.

The sheet where he lay was now stained by mud and blood. Castiel needed to turn the man over in order to clean his back. He spread a clean sheet on one side of the bed so he could roll him without infecting the lesions again.

As the man lay on his stomach, Castiel noticed more cigarette burns on his back and there was dried blood on his buttocks and the inside of his thighs. On closer examination, he also noticed the presence of dry semen. That made him gag. He felt revolted by the extent of the violence that this man had suffered.

He continued to clean him, first with soap and water as he had done to the front and then disinfecting and dressing on any visible lesions. He deliberated whether it would be better to lie him on his back or face down, on account of his injuries. He decided to lie him down on his back to make it easier to give him water. He rested his shoulders and head on two pillows.

Castiel looked in his medicine box for something to lower the fever. He dribbled a few drops into a glass of water, trying to make the man swallow. Some of the liquid trickled down his chin, but part of it got down his throat and the man shivered in a violent fit of cough. His good eye opened for a moment, dazed, and at first he tried to pull away, weakly. Castiel tried to calm him so he could administer the medication he needed:

"No, no... Calm down, I'm trying to help. Stay calm, this is medicine for fever and pain... Take it, please."               

Dean tried again to get away from Castiel, but perhaps realizing that he wasn’t one of his tormentors, he slowly calmed down and accepted the medicine. He was panting heavily and he couldn’t speak.

When he returned to unconsciousness, Castiel breathed a little more relieved, because the fever could be controlled from now on. He then wrapped the body in a clean, wet sheet to lessen the discomfort of sunburn and help lowering his temperature.

Castiel still feared for the man’s life. Could he, alone, without the least resources save him?

He pulled one of the chairs from the living room to the bedroom. He had to watch him closely, make sure the fever wouldn't come back. That chair would be his resting place for several nights, he thought.


	5. Chapter 5

The next day, Dean was still unconscious most of the time, being woken up by Castiel at regular intervals to take medicine and drink water. Castiel checked his wounds, changed the dressings and they seemed not to be infected, but the biologist worried about the fractures in the fingers. He would have to immobilize them, but he didn’t know if the bones were in the right position. If he tried to put them in place, the pain would be immense, but at least his fingers would heal properly, and if he survived, he wouldn’t have a deformed hand.

Finally he decided to do it, which caused a howl of pain on the part of the man, who awoke, upset. Castiel tried to explain what he was doing and he submitted, eventually fainting again during the procedure. His fingers were then tied together in a splint and Castiel gave him some painkillers, which he knew, would not be enough, but would help a little.

On the fourth morning, when Castiel woke up, his back aching after spending another night in the hard chair, he came upon a pair of green eyes staring at him. Startled, he tried to take his wrist and check the pulse, but the man said hoarsely:

"I'm alive."

Castiel sighed in relief and ran his hand over his forehead. He was exhausted. He abandoned his duties to take care of this man and he didn’t even know if he would survive. But the affirmation of life instilled in him a new breath.

"Good. I'm happy." He paused again, watching the man's face twist with pain as he tried to move. "You need to rest. How are you feeling?"

"I've been better" Dean said. "Who are you?"

"My name is Castiel. I found you on the river."

"Castiel?" He frowned at the unusual name. "And why am I here? Where is it _here_? "

"This is my house. I brought you here to treat your injuries. When I first saw you... I thought you were dead. But you were not and I couldn’t just leave you there. "

"Maybe you should have left me to die" Dean murmured, his face transfigured not just from physical pain, Castiel thought. The memories must be horrible.

"Don’t say that. You are better now. No more fever, the sunburn is healing, your... your wounds don’t look infected. "

"Do you have a phone? Radio? Anything?"

"Unfortunately not. But in a few days a person who can communicate with the outside world will be here."

"Hm..."

"What's your name?" Castiel asked timidly.

"It's ... Dean." His survival instinct told him not to trust this man, but he was the one who saved him. But Crowley had said the same thing. He remembered with regret his failing mission, his total lack of insight that had brought him to that low point. He closed his eyes and thought of his brother, who by now must think he was dead. What would Alastair tell everyone about his disappearance?               

"Nice to meet you, Dean.” Castiel replied with a nod. “You need to eat something… I'll get some fruit juice and then I'll make some soup... "

"Soup? I may be feeling like crap but... soup... "

"Soup, yes, a vegetable stock. You've been too long without food. Even if I had access to one, I wouldn’t serve you a hamburger or a steak…"

And for a moment he thought of all the luxuries he had given up when he came here. It was only when he went to Manaus he could have some fast food. Manaus seemed as far away now as Boston.

"Rest and recover. Don’t try to get up, okay? If you need something, please call me, I'll be in the next room. "

Dean rested his head on the pillow and thought of his luck. Why hadn’t he died? Why was he alive? Maybe it was to bring to justice that monster whose name was Alastair Heyerdall, who disguised himself as an environmentalist. Yes, that was it. He decided to live and go after the man who had tried to end his life.

 

Later, when Castiel returned with a mug full of soup, Dean made an effort to sit and eat it. His head throbbed, but another pain bothered him more. He moaned and tried to lean on only one buttock.

"You are hurt. No ... don’t sit like that... " Castiel said, realizing what he was implying and blushing.

Dean couldn’t look him in the eyes. He was mortified. Castiel knew. He knew what kind of violence he had suffered.

"Dean ..." Castiel started awkwardly.

"No ... Don’t say anything," Dean replied. "It's nothing…  it's okay. Were you going to feed me some soup? "

Dean made an effort to eat what Castiel cooked, but he couldn’t take more than a few sips. His stomach churned and he threw up. He felt useless, not even able to feed himself. A warm tear formed in his right eye and slowly, against Dean's will, rolled down his face.

Castiel tried not to show he noticed as he approached the bed and said:

"It’s okay, Dean, this is perfectly normal. Come on, take off the T-shirt so you can change."

Dean looked paralyzed with embarrassment. As he felt Castiel's hand touch his shoulder, he exploded:

"Do not touch me! DO NOT TOUCH ME!"

"Oh… right... Please take off the T-shirt and then I'll bring you more soup. Rest now... " And he walked away, giving Dean time to calm down. Alone, Dean wept softly, drowning in fear, doubt, pain.

In the kitchen, Castiel listened to Dean crying and his head lolled forward before he left the house, striding toward the forest.

When Castiel came back home, Dean was asleep. The dirty t-shirt was on the chair. And the mug was empty. Castiel smiled.

 

In the afternoon Castiel entered the room with his first aid kit. He found Dean asleep. He would try not to wake him, but he knew it would be difficult.

He started by checking his left hand. His fingers were still swollen but better. The splint was in place.

He looked down at his torso, where the cigarette burns were healing. The one close to the navel looked a little flayed. It should have happened when Dean pulled the T-shirt off. Castiel should disinfect it. He took the ointment from the case and spread a small amount over it with his fingers. He wondered if the ones on his back would be raw as well, being in direct contact with the sheet as they were.

He rose from his chair and gently held the sleeping man's shoulders. Slowly he pulled him toward his body so he could look over it. There were two or three bleeding on the sheet.

He needed to lay Dean on his stomach so he could deal with the wounds, but what if he woke up? Castiel have never done this with Dean awake. It was easier to do this when he was unconscious, due to the nature of one of the lesions. He did not know how he would react when Castiel touched him again.

A moan showed him that Dean was awake and tried to move in his arms.

"Easy, Dean. It's me. Castiel, "he said quietly, holding Dean in the position but as gentle as he could, before the other man's attempt to escape his touch.

"I need to look at the wounds on your back ... Some bleed, I need to clean them."

Dean still struggled weakly, but looking at Castiel for a moment, he turned his body voluntarily forward, exposing his back.

Immediately Castiel set about disinfecting and taking care of the cigarette burns. He also verified that the sunburns had cleared enough. As he had been lying on one side in the canoe, his left side was much affected than the right one, but now the redness was diminishing.

The next move was what worried Castiel. He had to remove the boxers to check the injuries on the anal area. He had already noticed a small blood stain on the underwear, which meant they needed to be disinfected again.

"Dean..." he began, unsure of how to tell him what he needed to do. "I need..." he cleared his throat. "I need to disinfect the ..."

Dean realized what he meant and his first reaction was to turn around again, but Cas held him steady in the position he was in.

"Damn, man..." he yelled, but his body relaxed, feeling weak to fight Castiel.

Castiel then slowly pulled the underwear down, trying not to touch any of the burns. His hands were cold, despite the stifling heat of the room. He swallowed and rubbed them together before touching Dean's skin.

"Why is it taking so long? Let's get on with it! "Dean demanded, his tone harsh as he tried to hide the fact that his voice was failing.

"Okay, I'll..." He touched it gently, aware of the embarrassment it was causing. There was  little blood and he proceeded to disinfect it with the utmost caution. Dean's breathing was uneven. Castiel thought he might be crying. But Dean accepted Castiel's care in silence, and when he completely removed the boxers to change them, he realized that he had calmed down.

"Dean, if you want, you can turn. Let me help you ... " but Dean was already leaning on his left arm and struggling to move, his face transfigured by the pain of his fractured fingers.

Castiel had his head down, he could not face Dean. But he broke the silence, saying hoarsely:

"Thanks, Cas."

Castiel shook his head as he began to collect what he used to treat the wounds, put it back in the case, and left the room.

He was relieved to have been through it, everything would be easier now. And he smiled again when he remembered that he had just been called Cas.


	6. Chapter 6

As he sat down to spend the night beside Dean, Castiel paused to observe the features that returned to their normal state, the swelling of the lacerations diminishing. His lips were still marked by cuts, but they seemed to have a pleasant shape. Dean must be a handsome man, he thought.

He was still shirtless, which was no problem in that climate and Castiel watched the strong muscles in his chest, abdomen and arms. He was a person who took good care of his health, his body was in good condition. Too bad it would be scarred by cigarette burns.

These thoughts took Castiel by surprise. He'd caught himself admiring Dean, and that was unheard of. He didn't usually have such thoughts about other men. Well, at the moment and for some time now, about anyone. He was a loner by choice and coexisted well with his self-imposed isolation. But he could not deny that Dean emanated a magnetism, something strong and that make people look at him. He wondered what he did, whether he was an honest man or a criminal.

He had to find out, he thought, but another day. For now, he decided to watch Dean sleep, troubled by the most terrible nightmares.

But for Castiel, this was known territory.

 

Castiel was awakened very early by a moan. Immediately alert, he leaned forward, toward Dean.

"Are you okay?" He asked breathlessly.

"This position is killing me, I can’t stand lying this way anymore. I need to turn around. "

"Here, let me help you. Which way? "

"As before, like this, to the right side. Ouch!"

"So?" Dean was lying on his side, on the less sunburned side, his throbbing hand up. And facing back toward the chair and Castiel.

Castiel sat back, sighing. He looked at the clock, yawning, stretching. When he looked at Dean he found him looking back.

"Why do you live here?" He asked.

"I'm a biologist and I do research on bees."

"That doesn’t exactly answer my question."

"I ... I like isolation. I don’t have... a family. I like my job. I always wanted to know the Amazon... "

"Hm…" Dean muttered. "How do you communicate with ‘the living’?"

"Oh, an assistant, Alfie, comes in once a month and brings what I need. He also takes the information collected and transmits it online, from Manaus."

"Once a month? What if you get sick? If you have an emergency? "

"It's part of the deal. I knew it was a high-risk research. "

"And when will this ... assistant come back here?"

Castiel, for a moment, doubted whether he should reveal this fact. He didn’t know anything about Dean. What if was he planning something?

"Hum, soon enough, a few days ..."

"How many?"

In fact Alfie had left Castiel’s camp the day before he had found Dean. He was relieved that his provisions were complete when he thought he would have to feed two people instead of one, as he usually did. It would take about three weeks for him to get back.

"I have to check, I'm not sure."

"Damn it."

Castiel looked at the face that was now frowning with concern and he had the courage to ask:

"And you? What do you do for a living? Why are you here?"

Dean blinked, his forehead furrowing even more. He wondered if he should trust this stranger. He was careless before and that brought him here.

"I ... ah ... I was on vacation on a cruise." He lied. "I had a disagreement with another passenger and ... well, you know how the story ended."

"I understand why you want to get in touch... with someone. You must have been considered missing."

"Yes, I need ..." and the truth escaped his lips "... get in touch with my brother. He must be desperate. "

"Your brother? Is he your only family? "Castiel asked, wanting to know more about the man lying in front of him.

"Yes, he and his wife. And my nephew, who must have been born now. "And his chest seemed to close, thinking of the suffering they should be going through, imagining him dead. And Sam, this could be putting himself at unnecessary risk, trying to figure out the causes of his death, trying to implicate Alastair ... He needed to avoid all that, but how?

"I understand. Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do but wait. "

Dean closed his eyes, suddenly exhausted. He wanted to go home and end the bastard who had done all that to him. But there was nothing he could do but get better and be ready to leave the day Alfie came.

Cas continued to stare at Dean in the semi-darkness. He had realized that was not the truth. Or at least not all of it. But there was nothing he could do but try to make him realize that he was well-intentioned and that Dean could trust him. He just did not know if there was time for that.

 

"Hello, Dean," Cas said as he entered. His hair was damp, he had changed his clothes and brought a tray with two mugs, one of fruit juice and another of soup.

"Hey, Cas. I hope there is coffee in one of those mugs. "

"I'm sorry, Dean, I don’t drink coffee. But if you want a... "

"Oh, so a beer later will be impossible, too?" Dean forced himself to joke.

"I'm afraid so," said Castiel with a smile. "Juice?"

"OK, give it to me, I'm dying of thirst. Hm ... what fruit is this? "He asked with a grimace.

"Cupuaçu, a native fruit. Alfie brings the frozen fruit pulp. Don’t you like it? It is very healthy."

"Why healthy things have to taste... yuk!"

"Don’t you complain… It's good for you. Maybe someday you'll try a cupuaçu filled chocolate and you’ll change your mind ... "

"Do you have chocolate here?"

"No, Dean," Castiel laughed. "I don’t like sweets very much, but the cupuaçu chocolate is very tasty. When you go to Manaus... "and stopped, realizing that he was telling Dean and himself that he would soon be able to make the trip. But what if he was a fugitive from justice?

"When I go to Manaus, I won’t spend enough time there to eat chocolate at all!" He replied, and realizing immediately that he had been harsh with Cas, he drinked the rest of the juice. "There you go. Do I want to know what's in the other mug? "

"Well, it's soup. I know you’ll make a face again. "

"You already know me. All right, give me the soup, I'm starving. "

Cas was pleased to see Dean sipping the soup with an appetite. He asked if Dean wanted more, which made Dean shake his head, pretending to frown. But he accepted a second mug a few minutes later.

 

Castiel let him rest and opened the laptop. He had to rearrange his schedule, since he had not left for the usual visits in the last few days. He thought about what he would do for the next few days, when Dean was already strong enough to get up. He needed to try to find out more about him before leaving him alone.

Three-quarters of an hour later, Castiel was absorbed in the report he was making so he hardly heard the sound coming from the room. He raised his head to find Dean leaning against the door frame, panting.

"Dean!" Cas said as he got up and walked toward him. "Why are you standing? You should have called me. "

"I called, but I think you were too busy. I need to go to the bathroom... that is, if there is a bathroom here. "

"Of course there's a bathroom here. What do you think I am? A savage?"

And he offered Dean his shoulder to lean on, leading him to the tiny bathroom at the end of the lodge. Arriving at the door, he wondered if he should accompany Dean inside, but Dean was already pulling away, thanking him and trying to lean against the sink.

"Oh, thanks, Cas, do you mind if I come in alone?" He muttered.

"Sure…  call me if you need any help, okay? I'll pay more attention this time... "

"Dude, I just need to pee ... gee!"

Castiel heard the door close, but not the lock. Well, Dean knew he should be prepared for emergencies.

 After a few minutes Dean opened the door and looked pale. Castiel hurried to meet him.

"Alright?" He asked, looking worried.

"I'm fine, I just got a little dizzy. I think I've been lying down for a long time... Can I sit down a bit? "

“How about the hammock out there? So you also breathe some fresh air... "

"Okay, so be it," he said, and let himself be taken out, pausing for a moment to descend the steps leading to the deck.

It was a sunny day, but the air was damp and the clothes seemed to stick to his body, even though he was only wearing boxers. The sounds around him were impressive.

"Wow! I don’t know if I would like to live here, but the sounds... the forest... this is incredible. "

"I know, that makes things a little easier."

"How do you handle this loneliness?" Dean asked as Castiel slowly set him down in the hammock, so he could sit and look toward the woods.

"Ah, I'm ... I'm used to it. Does it bother you if I... sit here too to finish my report? "

"No, feel free."

Castiel came in and returned with the laptop, sitting at the outside table. Dean's eyes were closed, swaying slowly. He looked relaxed, which Castiel had not yet had the pleasure of watching. His face was almost completely healed, and Castiel thought he really was handsome, as he had supposed.

Blushing at the inopportune thought, he turned back to the keyboard and began typing. A few minutes later Dean asked him a question.

"Bees? Is your research about bees? "

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"With so many animals around here, why bees?"

“Bees are disappearing in many parts of the world, supposedly due to climate change and the indiscriminate use of pesticides, in addition to changes in ecosystems. This process was termed ‘colony collapse disorder’ or CCD. The university for which I work needed someone to come here and do some research, so… "

"What university?" Dean asked, trying to find out more about Cas, trying to figure out if he was who he said he was, if he was trustworthy.

"Boston University. I used to teach there... until I applied for field research. "

"It's quite a change. What made you want to move here? "

"Ah... I needed to... get away for a while. I wanted to try new things, "he said, looking away from the keyboard.

Dean realized that this was a delicate topic, but it shouldn’t be grounds for mistrust. From what he had noticed, it seemed that Castiel had some kind of relationship problems.

"Would you like to see some pictures of the bees I'm researching?" He asked after a while.

"Well, what's different about them? A bee is a bee, right? "

Cas laughed, and answered as he got up from the table with the laptop to show Dean.

"No, Dean, there are many species. Let me show you. "

Dean looked at the pictures and listened to the explanations. Cas also showed him some maps and graphs, explaining a little more about his work. He seemed to want to show that he had told the truth. And Dean, little by little, began to believe that he could come to trust this man with strong hands and gentle eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

At nightfall, Castiel stood and stretched. Dean was dozing in the hammock, breathing evenly. His face was relaxed.

He went in and began to cook dinner. Castiel was a man of simple habits, but the presence of Dean was a change in his daily life that gradually began to please him. He had not imagined that he would miss someone to talk so much, even if he was a stranger.

He set the kettle on to make some tea. He took some salted crackers from a jar on the shelf and picked up a packet of dried bananas. He thought of the almonds he was saving for when he wanted to eat something special, remembering that Dean had asked about candy. He heated the rest of the vegetable soup he had made earlier, intending to share with him, since there was enough.

He was with his back to the front door when he heard Dean call.

"Cas, a hand up the step, please?"

"Dean, you shouldn’t be exerting yourself..."

“Your soup has miraculous powers ... Or is it because I _never_ have soup?" He laughed. "Do I smell soup again?" And made a face, which was a joke.

"Yes, and I'll have soup too, just so you do not accuse me of trying to poison you. Sit down, eat a cracker. I'll make some chamomile tea, would you like some? "

"No, thanks. Maybe a little of that thing you called juice... what was it? "

“Cupuaçu. Native fruit, full of antioxidants, potassium, vitamin C. It's very healthy. "

"People keep telling me that…”  he smiled.

Castiel laughed and opened the refrigerator, taking a packet of frozen juice. He opened it and put the contents in the blender with some water. When it was ready, he offered it to Dean, who took the glass with a smile.

"Thank you, Cas ..." he said. And after a sip, he added, "... for everything."

 

After the meal, which passed quietly, with Dean asking more about Cas's work routine, he yawned and asked:

"I'd like to take a shower. I'm feeling sweaty. Is that okay?"

Castiel thought for a moment and said, weighing the pros and cons:

"Only if you will allow me to be with you in the shower to support you. I don’t want to deal with any more bruises. "

"Oh, shit ... Right. But I think there’s nothing you haven’t seen before... " he added with a smile that was more of an apology than anything else.

"OK. Just let me get you a clean towel. And just wait here! "

"Right, boss!" Dean muttered, but there was no malice in his words.

Cas came back from the bedroom with the towel and approached for Dean to lean on him to get up. They walked slowly to the bathroom. Cas led him to the shower and waited for him to remove the boxers, still holding him by the arm. He instructed him to lean against the wall as he undressed.

"What?" Dean asked, his eyes widening.

"Take off my clothes, I will not shower in my clothes. Wait a moment. "But he only took off his shirt and shorts, his underwear still on, to Dean's relief.

"Well, I'm glad someone around here can have their privacy," he teased, to hide his embarrassment.

Cas turned the shower on and the water was cold. There was no need for hot water in that climate and besides the water tank had been in the sun all day, so it retained some of the heat. Dean shivered when he was hit on the chest, but then he sighed in pleasure.

Cas held him while he washed. Some movements were difficult, especially when he needed to keep his left hand dry. Cas washed his feet and his hair. Dean once again appreciated the objective touch of Castiel's hands. Firm and careful.

When he had finished, he helped him sit on the closed lid of the toilet and handed him the towel. He went back to the shower and quickly removed his underwear, which was now soaked. Dean was surprised and tried to look the other way.

But Cas thought it was only fair if Dean looked, after all he had seen Dean’s naked body. In fact, he almost wished Dean looked at him... But that must be the solitude talking.

Dean wore the clean T-shirt and boxers that Cas had given him, after checking the bandages. It was less embarrassing than the first time, but it was not pleasant either.

Cas wore similar clothes, and after putting Dean to bed, he sat down in his chair, preparing himself for yet another uncomfortable night.

"Dude, it must be awful to sleep in this chair!" Dean commented.

"I need to watch you, Dean. In case of an emergency. "

"Cas, I'm better. You said it yourself. The fever is gone, I'm healing. Isn’t there any other place for you to sleep? "

"Hum… I could hang the hammock in the living room and sleep there. But only if you promise not to get up without calling me. "

"I promise. I just can’t see you waking up every day with a crooked neck. "He thought better and said," Maybe I’ll  sleep in the hammock and you'll come back to your bed? "

"That’s out of the question. I'm on my way. Sleep. Call me if you need anything."

"Good night, Cas.” He said suppressing a yawn. “Sleep tight.”

"Good night, Dean.”

 

Cas lay in the hammock in the dark. He could hear Dean snoring in the next room and wondered who he really was. He would ask again the next day. Maybe now he could get a closer answer to the truth.

He closed his eyes, but sleep didn’t come. The image of green eyes and a handsome smile lingered in his mind.

 

In the morning Castiel got up and prepared the morning meal. This time, Dean's tray contained more than the usual juice: crackers, some almonds and a banana.

He found Dean awake, waiting for him.

"Cas, bathroom, please... now!" The sense of urgency was unmistakable. The biologist put the tray on the bed and quickly helped Dean into the bathroom.

He waited a few moments and heard Dean ask through the door:

“Do you have an extra toothbrush?"

Castiel was surprised that he didn’t think of that before.

"Of course, wait a second." He opened the bedroom closet and picked up a new toothbrush from one of the drawers. "Sorry," he said as he handed it to Dean.

Dean didn’t bother closing the door again and Cas watched him brush his teeth. Then he stared at the bruises on his face, which were a yellowish color now.

"Ew ... I still look like crap!" He mumbled, opening the door all the way and trying to walk to the table.

Cas got up to help him, but Dean motioned for him to stay where he was.

"See? I can walk by myself. Your treatment has been miraculous, my friend. "

Castiel felt something warm in his chest. _Friend_. He had used the word friend.

"I'll get your food, let's eat in the kitchen."

Dean sat down and thought that after all that had happened, he had to trust Castiel. He was a good man and had done much for him. He hoped it was not another misjudgment.

"Here. Start eating while I make my tea... "

"Cas ... I need to tell you something," Dean began, unsure.

"You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to. It will not change anything, okay? "

"No, I ... I do. I want to trust you, I need your help...”

"So… tell me your story and I'll see what I can do, if is within my reach and doesn’t go against my conscience. "

What a strange way to put it, Dean thought. But he had the right to make his own judgment after hearing his story.

"Cas, I ... I'm a FBI agent."

Castiel listened and widened his eyes. He motioned for him to keep talking.

"I was on a very serious investigation. But I let myself be deceived and I almost died. I just didn’t die... well, you know. "

Castiel shook his head and waited for him to continue.

"The criminal I was investigating is cruel. He is involved in drug trafficking and is very dangerous, despite his public facade and his affable appearance.” He swallowed hard. “He's a ... monster."

"Was he the one who... did all this to you?" Castiel finally asked.

"Well, he and his employees. They tried to drug me first, they tortured me and then... he… he... "

"I understand. Too bad I didn’t collect a sample when I cleaned you. "

"Sample?" Dean whispered.

"Yes, there was blood and ... semen on your thighs. He could be identified as the aggressor. "

That would be perfect, but this possibility no longer existed.

"Cas... I need to apologize. You've been good to me and I… I couldn’t trust you."

"If our roles were reversed, I would probably do the same, there’s no need to apologize. Continue, please."

"What bothers me is that my brother knows who he is and he will continue investigating when he learns of my disappearance. I think by now I’m considered dead. I can’t let Sam get involved. He has Madison and the baby. "

"And what can you do?"

"I need to make a full report to my superiors. I have to look for evidence and return to the States as soon as possible. I need to talk to Sam. "

"But you can only do that when Alfie comes here. We have no way of getting out of here for you to call the US. "

"I know, but when you spoke about a sample... Maybe we could go to the place where you found me and look for the place he used to torture me? Maybe we can find evidence of the presence of... my aggressor? Would you know how to get there?”

"I can show you the place I found you in the canoe, but you would have to go with me to identify the place. And you're not strong enough yet, I'm afraid. "

"But Cas, I need to do something. This inactivity is killing me! I think about Sam all the time. "

"It's all right. Let's take it easy. I think we need another six or seven days so that you're relatively well off to go with me in the canoe. I think you could start writing your report first. You can use my laptop. "

Dean thought for a moment, he’d like to leave now, but he knew Cas was right.

"It's all right. I'll wait, but not more than seven days. I'll concentrate on writing everything I know and I've seen... "

"And if you're okay ... only if you're okay, do you hear me, Dean? We'll go there. "

They finished eating, discussing their plan of action. Castiel cleared the table and placed the laptop in front of Dean.

"Get to work," he said with a gentle touch to his shoulder and an encouraging smile.


	8. Chapter 8

Dean still needed breaks to rest while he wrote. As he lay down, Cas took the laptop and read, with his permission, what he had written. He became increasingly disgusted with everything this supposedly millionaire environmentalist did around the globe. As if the world were his private playground and he was the bully on duty. He also felt more and more proud of knowing Dean and being able to discover how intelligent and capable he was in his profession, though he felt so guilty, so foolish to be caught in a trap. His devotion to his brother was also very commendable.

Cas continued to take care of him, establishing a routine of eating, writing, resting, showering, checking his wounds. Everything was getting more comfortable between them and Cas was sure to have found a friend in Dean.

Dean was determined to be ready in a week and began to eat more and better, without complaining (much) of what Cas offered. He knew a lot about nutrition and Dean felt like he was gaining strength every day.

On the eve of the day they were to go to the place where he had been tortured, Dean was in the hammock with the laptop on his lap and described his last encounter with Alastair before his incarceration. He couldn’t believe that he had not been alert enough to realize the machinations of the millionaire and his cronies. He just did not really understand Crowley's involvement in his deliverance.

Castiel had gone to one of the nearest swarm checkpoints and would soon be back, now that he knew that Dean could be left alone for some limited periods of time.

Dean was tired of thinking so he closed the text editor and sat back yawning. He still felt a little weak, but he knew he could not show it to Castiel, otherwise he wouldn’t take him on the promised trip.

His sleepy fingers searched for the off button, but they clicked something on the screen and a folder opened by mistake. Dean hastened to close it, not wanting to abuse the kindness of the man who had helped him, snooping on his files, but... Only one photo was there. A picture of Castiel with a woman and a blonde girl. All three smiling at the camera, in front of a house with a beautiful garden. Cas looked younger, less tired... He looked happy. Dean stared at the photo for a few minutes before closing it and turning off the device, which he deposited next to the hammock. The file did not specify names, its title was a sequence of numbers and letters, the way photos are saved on digital cameras.

He closed his eyes, intending to get some sleep, but that smiling family he had seen didn’t leave his thoughts.

When Castiel arrived, he found Dean in the kitchen. The laptop was closed on the table and he was cooking.

"Dean, what ..." he started to ask, but Dean turned with a satisfied smile on his face and Cas did not know what else to say.

Dean had tried to surprise Cas (and if he pleased himself, just a little, _what was wrong with that?_ ), baking a pie. Among the fruit he found in the pantry, the only ones he had worked with before were bananas, so that's what he used. He knew her mother's recipe by heart, so it was just a matter of dedication. The oven was kind of complicated, but he managed to make sure the temperature was right.

The sweet smell of cinnamon and fruit emanating from the kitchen was tempting. Castiel rarely gave himself the luxury of doing something so elaborate. Now he was salivating and he was eager to taste it.

He approached the table sniffling and smiling, but Dean quickly said:

"Not a chance, _bee watcher_! A shower first, then dinner. And then, dessert. "

Castiel laughed and shook his head in agreement. He looked at Dean and saw that his hair was damp.

"You have cooked dinner and also…."

"And dessert, don’t you forget!" Dean said, pointing a finger in his direction.

"And dessert and still had time to shower…all by yourself? I see you're really ready to go on our trip tomorrow. "

Dean stared at him and the smile disappeared from his face.

"Seriously?" He asked "Tomorrow... really?" Now that the time to look for his captors was approaching, he felt a little insecure.

"If you're willing, I'm ready to accompany you" Cas said.

"Okay then. Tomorrow. Now... shower and dinner. We'll plan everything later, okay?"

After Cas cleared the table and made a point of washing the dishes (and cleaning the mess that Dean had made while preparing the pie), they sat down again, with Castiel's map open. He pointed where he was going when he found him. He was rowing up the stream while Dean was floating downstream. There was a fork a few miles ahead, where Castiel would take the right, then he assumed that Dean's captivity place was to the left. They couldn’t estimate the distance, since Dean had been released at night, but Cas had found him around ten in the morning.

Dean was anxious and at the same time tense to return to that place. He didn’t think there was anyone there now, but who could guarantee it? Besides, he was afraid that the memories of those hours, those days and what had happened there, would cause him some kind of emotional outburst. He had always been controlled and cold, but he had never been through such a traumatic experience before. He felt that here, in Cas’ home he hadn’t lost his mind only by the calming presence and the constant and dedicated care of the biologist. He was the stability in Dean’s life at the moment.

While Dean lay down to sleep on the borrowed bed, he thought about fate.  How would he ever imagine that it was possible to find a friend in such a remote place? He had only a few good friends, actually. His brother, Victor, Garth, Charlie. These were the people with whom he spent his free time, but he thought about how little they knew of his doubts, his fears and his emotional needs. They knew a cheerful, playful, outgoing Dean who enjoyed the night life and having one night stands with women and men. What they did not know, because Dean never let it show, was how lonely he felt, how much he wanted a companion, someone to share his life with. He always wore a mask, even to the closest people, to protect himself. The only one who knew what was going on was Sam, from whom he had never been able to hide, no matter how hard he tried.

And then he thought of Cas. Dean had shared so little with him. He told him only the basics and he had still paid attention and took care of him. He had seen Dean at his worst physical and emotional states and yet still remained loyal. He had trusted him. Not only had he helped him heal, but he would be the one who would help him deal with the most difficult situation in his life.

And Dean began to wonder. He fantasized about a life here, at the end of the world, surrounded by the dense forest, which might be hostile, but which at the moment seemed like a home to him. This simple place, with its basic comforts and a sacrificed life seemed to him much more appealing than his comfortable apartment in Washington and his Bureau office, the bars, the bustling life of the city. But he knew: what he felt was generated by Castiel's presence. It was common knowledge that people fell in love with those who took care of them in extreme situations. But remembering the family photo he had found on the laptop, he thought that there was no chance of that happening. Not in this life.


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning, Castiel gave him a pair of shorts and a T-shirt to wear. And also a pair of boots, even if they were a bit tight, even more because of the nail lost in his right foot. But none of that would stop them both from going back to Dean's personal hell.

Cas picked up the backpack, where he'd put the ever-present raincoat, the map, a digital camera, a few bottles of water, insect repellent, sunscreen, some cereal bars, some medicine in case Dean felt bad and the most important - a big hunting knife that Dean did not know he had.

They walked to Cas' boat in silence. The trip would be long, more than two hours to get close to their destination. Maybe an hour after that. The sun and the heat were inclement and Cas handed Dean a cap, putting on a khaki hat himself.

Most of the way was made in friendly conversation, occasionally Dean pointed at something and asked a question. Castiel knew a lot about the local fauna and when Dean asked, he felt happy to share his knowledge. This helped easing the tension Cas knew Dean was feeling.

Castiel checked the map again and realized they were approaching the point where Dean had been found. He warned him, and immediately he stiffened, frowning.

A little farther upstream, they found the fork. They had to follow the river on the left and from there, they would have to be alert.

Dean's trained eyes searched the banks for the little dock and the place where he had been held prisoner.

Castiel was looking at Dean, his face blank, trying not to show how much he was suffering with his friend's anguish.

About an hour later Dean choked on the water he was drinking. Castiel looked at him first, then at the woods, and then he saw the boards of the dock, half hidden among the vegetation. He looked at Dean again, who was shaking. Cas put his hand on his shoulder, to steady him a bit. He gave him a moment and then asked in a low voice:

"Should we proceed?" He received a nod. They paddled harder now, quickly approaching the shore, but not directly to the dock. His little boat would go closer to the bank easily.

They disembarked about two hundred meters from the place. Dean staked tensely, but took a deep breath to calm down. So Cas took the lead, casting a glance for Dean to follow. Soon the building became visible in the middle of the trunks. They stopped and analyzed the situation. It seemed quiet, but they decided to take the time to make sure there was no one guarding the place.

The wait seemed endless, and suddenly Dean stood up, Cas’ knife in hand, and strode toward the glade where the small building was.

Stopping behind a tree for a moment, Dean motioned for Cas to accompany him. If anyone was here, it would be beyond that door.

Dean walked hesitantly toward it and almost laughed out loud when he saw that it was not locked. He could imagine Alastair, from the height of his arrogance, certain that no one would find this place, much less after having been inside it. Brandishing the knife in front of him, Dean pushed the door slowly and the darkness of the interior made him shiver.

But Castiel was right behind him, the hand that had held him before now on his back, a slight but sure touch. Dean swallowed hard and went for the light switch.

As they turned on the light, the two of them came upon the dreaded scene. The gurney fixed to the floor, the metal frame where it had been tortured, chains, padlocks, the closet in the corner, where they kept the drugs.

The air seemed heavy, like a thick, sticky substance that enveloped Dean's body. It felt hard to breathe and Dean felt dizzy. He leaned on the gurney, his stomach churning. He left quickly and threw up, outside. Cas was at his side in seconds, offering the comfort of his presence and water to rinse his mouth.

Dean gasped, trembling, sweat soaking his light clothes. Castiel didn’t force the situation and stayed close to the agent until he calmed down a little.

A few minutes later their eyes met, Dean's eyes finally leaving the ground. Tears swelled there, but Dean was not going to let them fall. He had to be strong and get as much evidence as he could against Alastair Heyerdall.

And then, everything became clear. The case in which he had been working on for so many months and still lacked concrete evidence was now complete. And the most valuable proof of his crimes was himself. He and what he endured in that hideous place. It would be the evidence of the cruelty of the man who pretended to be a philanthropist. Dean was sure he hasn’t been the first nor the last to be brought to this place, which Heyerdall considered a perfect place of torture and execution in the far-off Amazon, no man's land.

Cas offered his hand to help him stand up and together they went back inside. The room was clean, there were no blood marks or any other body fluid. Dean thought that even if there were, they would not be able to collect material to be used as evidence. What they had to do was photograph everything, which would corroborate Dean's account and mark its position accurately on Castiel's map. The FBI would send a team of experts to get the evidence.

Heyerdall had been so dismissive as to let the door open. What is the possibility of having left evidence there by negligence? Dean felt there was a chance.

He photographed everything inside and out. As he recorded the images, he thought of how lucky they had been to get out alive, if those who perished had their bodies thrown into the river or buried in the woods.

Fury raged inside him and he could not contain a convulsive cry. Castiel stood at a safe distance to keep him from doing anything impulsive, but didn’t touch him. He knew that what he had relived today, few people would have had the strength to face. But Castiel knew that Dean's motivation to bring Heyerdall to justice and protect his brother would be enough to keep him sane. At least for now.

He waited for the other man to calm down, to dry his face. Dean turned to the river and stood there for a few minutes. Then he turned to Castiel and said simply:

"Thank you." And started walking toward the boat.

 

The return to the camp was very different from the previous trip. The silence was oppressive, but neither made any attempt to break it. The three hours seemed like forever. Dean made a point of taking turns with Cas on the oars, even though he still said he needed to spare his energy. Dean was determined to do it, and nothing could stop him.

Reaching their destination, Castiel tied the canoe to the usual spot and looked at Dean, who seemed reluctant to leave the boat. The day came to an end and the insects began to surround them in clouds.

"Come on, Dean, we need to eat and rest. A shower would also be nice. "And he began to walk slowly, occasionally casting glances at the man still sitting in the canoe. He finally left him behind, when she no longer endured the sadness emanating from Dean.

He entered the cabin, leaving his pack on the floor near the door. He went into the bedroom to get clean clothes for the two of them and then put the kettle on. Dean was going to have chamomile tea, which would help him relax, whether he wanted to or not. He found half of the pie in the refrigerator and thought about how his friend had been well disposed the day before, in contrast to today's broken man.

He waited a few more minutes and in the absence of Dean, started his way back to the boat. Dean was leaning against a tree, watching the sunset. Castiel approached slowly, until he was at his side.

"This sky ... I'll miss it when..." and turned to Cas, leaning forward to be wrapped in the strong arms of the biologist.

He didn’t cry, but he let himself be held in a tight embrace for some time. Then he cleared his throat and said.

"Will we have soup for dinner tonight or are you thinking of something more substantial?"

 A smile accompanied the question and it was the perfect mask that Dean wore to deal with his feelings.

 

The evening was quiet. They ate exchanging a few words, mostly forced jokes from Dean, who insisted on avoiding more serious matters.

They showered and went to bed.

Castiel lay in the hammock for a long time, trying to hear Dean snoring, but he seemed  to be awake as well.

Castiel's mind moved away from there and gradually returned to hell, as he had known it. Dean didn't know anything about it, he hadn’t told him anything about his previous life. And he thought that if he had the courage to do it, he should tell Dean what happened to him. They were two men reduced to fragments of their former integrity, and perhaps together they could find ways of overcoming the darkness that surrounded them.

But Castiel's pain, even if I was distant in time, was as present as Dean's, and he was not sure he would find the strength to share it. And he didn’t think he should add anything to the already heavy load that Dean carried.

When a new day was finally near, he finally drifted into sleep, exhausted from so much suffering.


	10. Chapter 10

When Cas woke up it was already midmorning. A mug of tea and some crackers on a plate were on the table beside the hammock. The door was open, and through it Cas saw Dean at the outside table, typing. The digital camera was connected to the laptop.

"Good morning, Dean, I see you're determined to finish your report. Did you sleep well? "He asked rhetorically.

"Not so much. Nightmares... But I woke up with a clear mind, ready to write. "

"I'm going to have my tea, thank you for having it ready for me."

"It's the least I can do. I just hope I got it right. "

"Can I sit outside with you? I don't want to interrupt your work."

"It's your house, dude" he teased. "And I need to ask you some questions. Come, sit here. "He pulled a chair to his side.

Cas sat down and after some time Dean asked him to read what he had written. He had also had inserted the photographs taken the day before into the text.

Cas read the report and asked questions from time to time.

It was both concise and detailed, that is, contained what was strictly necessary, without omissions, but also without flourishes. It was Dean's own way of expressing himself, objective and clear. There was no trace of his emotional involvement in the matter.

Cas approved of the report, and Dean breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank you, Cas. I know I've told you this before, but ... what you did for me is something I can never repay.” He said, looking him in the eye.

Castiel mumbled a "Hm" a little awkwardly and shook his head, lowering his eyes quickly to escape Dean’s gaze.

He looked down, at the computer screen, where his icons were, and was surprised that one of his personal folders had been moved. Immediately he was overcome with anger and said harshly:

"Why did you mess with my personal files, Dean? How could you do this to me?" He dragged his chair back, knocked it over, and walked back inside, only to return with his backpack and his boots in his hand a few seconds later.

"Cas, I ..." Dean tried to explain, but Cas was already far away, heading toward the canoe, giving him a furious look that prevented any attempt by Dean to follow him.

 

Dean spent the rest of the morning getting in and out of the lodge, not knowing what to do. He had inadvertently ruined everything. When the worst seemed to have passed and things with Cas were getting more comfortable he had to ruin their friendship.

Cas would no longer trust him. He knew it, but there was nowhere to run. There was no transport to get out, he did not even have a change of clothes of his to be able to leave, if he could.

He sat on the deck step and wondered what he could do to remedy the situation. He couldn’t come to any conclusion. Words seemed meaningless in the face of Cas' reaction. Lunchtime has come and gone. The afternoon, with its warmth and humidity and the possibility of facing it alone in this place seemed extremely tedious to Dean.

His head throbbing, he leaned back and lay on the wooden deck, staring at the awning above, his hands clasped beneath his head. He wasn’t hungry. He closed his eyes and wished he had never accidentally opened that folder.

 

He awoke a few hours later, when footsteps echoed across the deck. Cas was back!

He got up quickly and tried to follow him inside, but after lying down for so long, he felt dizzy and had to cling to the hammock to stand.

Castiel saw him trying to stand and in a moment was by his side, asking:

"Are you alright?"

He seemed to have returned to his usual mood and his usual attentive manner.

"Hi, Cas... I think I got up too quickly ..."

"Dean, I... I need to apologize. I know my reaction was... "

"No, you don’t need to apologize, please, I opened that folder by mistake, I never..."

"I know and I apologize for having judged you so harshly."

"I didn't mean to. I was trying to turn off the laptop... I'm sorry I looked, I know it's private... "

"Well, about that..." Cas began and immediately stopped talking, as if searching for the right words "I should have told you. I should have trusted you as you trusted me. I'm sorry."

"You do not owe me any explanation. I didn’t have that right, please ... "

"No, Dean, I need to tell you. I can’t leave it all locked inside me anymore. When I got angry earlier, it was because I immediately realized that I had to talk... I had to tell you everything and I didn’t know if I was ready. You inadvertent action set in motion something I've been trying to avoid for some time. "

The afternoon was already gone, and Castiel sat on the step where Dean had just sat down. He put his elbows to his knees and clutched his head in anguish.

Dean sat beside him, silent, watching the dark shadows of the forest.

Castiel stared into the darkness ahead too, they were surrounded only by the nocturnal sounds. He took a deep breath and lowered his head. Dean kept quiet, not knowing what to do.

"I’m a fugitive, Dean," he said softly. "But don’t think that... I’m not running away from the police or anyone... I tried to run away from myself and from my past."

The minutes stretched between the phrases, Castiel seemed to be overcome by the deepest sorrow.

"But the past is with me every day, no matter if I'm here, in Boston or anywhere else... Asleep or awake, the past is always with me..."

"I've never talked about this to anyone, Dean, ever since I came here. Not even Alfie knows. He thinks I'm an eccentric, he can’t imagine why I live isolate like this. "

Dean lowered his eyes, realizing that Castiel was ready to make confidences and that this was something that seemed beyond his strength at the moment. He was quiet, hoping he would continue or decide that he was not worthy to know what had happened.

"The photo... The photo you found. It's the only one I brought with me. It's there, but it's like it's not. I never look at it... I can’t look at it. "

Castiel took a deep breath and closed his eyes before continuing. "I don’t need it, actually. It's etched in my mind indelibly. "

He swallowed, and continued, his voice trembling, a few minutes later:

"They're... Amelia and Claire... My wife and daughter."

"They...” Cas swallowed hard. “Amelia was a wonderful woman. We were married for 15 years. She was my first girlfriend, we met in high school. I've never looked at anyone else, she was by my side all the time... We experienced everything together... She was my first and only love. Then along came Claire, the most beautiful, most loving, kindest girl I've ever met. "

"We were very happy and we thought we had everything." He inhaled. “I did have everything.”

"But one day..." he began and his shoulders were shaken by an intense sob. Castiel tried to compose himself and continued:

"They were shopping, they wanted to buy a present for my birthday."

Dean watched him, waiting for him to continue, but Cas was as if in a trance. He spoke as if he were weighing the words, as if it were difficult to say them.

"They ... were taken hostage in a robbery."

Dean's eyes widened and he waited for the conclusion.

“And they... they..." And he was seized with a convulsive cry. He rested his face on his hands and his body shook violently. He couldn’t avoid it.

Dean didn’t know what to do. He could only imagine the enormity of his pain. He hesitated for a moment, but surrendered to his instinct, coming closer and placing a hand on the shoulder of the weeping man.

Castiel, seemingly touched by the gesture, leaned over and put his face on Dean's chest. His arms immediately involved Cas' shoulders.

Crying didn’t subside but it seemed to intensify, now that Castiel's defenses had been shaken. Dean could do nothing more than lend his support and keep holding his friend.

"I... I've never cried for them. Never! "He sobbed. "I had to be strong for my in-laws, for Amelia's sisters. Not one tear. I comforted everyone, but I could never be comforted. What happened shouldn’t have happened. I should have protected them. It was all my fault, Dean, it was my fault... my fault! "

Dean felt his chest tighten. Castiel penalized himself for their deaths. Dean could only pat his back softly and babble words of comfort that did not seem to penetrate the biologist's mind.

They stayed like that for a long time. Castiel venting his immense sadness and Dean embracing him. When the sobs subsided, Castiel seemed to be at the limit of his strength and couldn’t lift the head he had on Dean's chest.

Realizing that the moment was delicate and that Castiel defenses had collapsed completely, Dean began to stand, slowly, bringing Castiel up with him. That was the man who Dean had come to consider a friend in the last days and to whom he had an immense debt.

They started walking toward the bedroom, where Castiel would lie down in his own bed, which had been occupied by Dean long enough. He hadn’t opened his eyes nor lifted his head, utterly ashamed of the unexpected emotional outburst. Dean still held him close but he let go of him when Cas was on the bed.

Castiel's hand, which had been covering his face, held Dean's elbow. Without opening his eyes, he made a request without words. Dean understood the message and also sat down on the bed. Castiel pulled him closer and Dean lay down beside the tormented man, who immediately snuggled against him with a long exhalation.

There was nothing left for Dean to do but hold him until sleep overcame them.


	11. Chapter 11

It was almost dawn. Castiel lay on the bed, warm, Dean's arms wrapped loosely around him. He remembered exactly how Dean had gotten there, but he was not proud to have practically implored, if only in a gesture, to the other man to stay with him. But now it was late to regret it.

He didn’t really regret it. All those years since he moved here, something he hadn’t had was physical contact with anyone, other than the handshakes he exchanged with Alfie and the times he looked after Dean. Being so close to someone again was amazing. And being so close to Dean was more than that. It was new and exciting, though it was also terrifying.

Castiel had never been attracted to any man - indeed, he had only been attracted to Amelia. And though he didn’t know what to do with that feeling, at the moment he let himself be there, enveloped by the warmth of the other man.

Initially, he thought what he felt was derived from his taking care of Dean for so many days, touching him objectively and only for the purpose of him recovering from his injuries. Then, realizing Dean was healing and on the verge of leaving, he could no longer hide from himself that something about Dean appealed to him and what he felt was more than concern.

Laying there, in the faint light of dawn filtering through the window and mosquito net, he watched Dean's  features. His eyes, now closed, were framed by golden eyelashes. The freckles that spread through his cheekbones and nose were even more apparent from the sunburn. His plump lips looked soft, now that the cuts had healed completely. He was handsome, no doubt.

He wondered what it would be like to kiss him. If he'd be generous and warm, as before, when he had held him in the midst of his emotional outburst. Or if he would reject him for not accepting this kind of touch coming from another man, especially after what he had suffered at Alastair's hands. There was no way to know, because Castiel would never take the initiative. He couldn’t do that to Dean. It would betray his trust.

Cas closed his eyes, took a deep breath, trying to stifle what he felt. He needed to let go of Dean and leave the bed to sleep somewhere else. When he opened his eyes, however, he saw green eyes watching him through half-closed eyelids. Dean blinked a few times and stared at him. Castiel felt his face on fire and was relieved to think that Dean couldn’t see him very well in the dimly lit room.

 "Are you okay, Cas?" He asked, his voice husky with sleep.

 "Yes, Dean... Sleep some more, stay here ... I'm going to sleep in the hammock, don’t worry, I've recovered from my... emotional outburst. I apologize if I made you feel uncomfortable. " And Cas began to move slowly to leave Dean’s arms.

But Dean pressed them around Cas.

 "Wait ... no, I'm going to sleep there. The bed is yours and you should go back to sleep here, now that I'm better. "

But he made no attempt to loosen his grip. His eyes, now wide open, did not leave Cas' eyes which were so close. Castiel felt torn between the need to leave that moment and let himself snuggle against the solid body in front of him.

Both moved at the same time and then Cas felt Dean's erection on his thigh. Dean glanced embarrassedly at Cas' lips. He was surprised, but didn’t try to move away, so Dean took the initiative and approached cautiously.

Cas closed his eyes and let Dean's mouth touch his. Dean apparently wanted to kiss him as much as he did and so he could accept the contact. Dean had shown Castiel that he was hungry for someone else's touch. Their lips touched gently, but soon the need for contact was greater than any attempt to be cautious.

Dean was a good kisser and Cas let himself go. The hands in his hair pulled his face closer, and Castiel was overcome by an uncontrollable desire. His own hands roamed beneath Dean's shirt, stroking his strong body and brushed the waistband of his shorts. He wanted to touch and be touched, everywhere.

Dean seemed to realize his need, for his hands left his hair and began to caress his back, his arms, joining their bodies more and more in a warm embrace. His hands slide down and cupped Cas’ buttocks gently and this touch made their abdomens touch.

When the two erect cocks touched between their bodies, Castiel groaned. Dean smiled in the kiss and continued to grind against him.

 "Cas... you..." Dean began, interrupted suddenly by another hoarse groan.

"Yes, Dean… I want you ... I need ..." Castiel replied.

Dean moved, to give him more access and Cas, a little insecure, ran his hand over the erection covered by the light fabric of his shorts. The man whom he had admired a few minutes before offered himself freely to him and looked even more attractive.

Dean groaned too, and held the hand that caressed him so intimately.

"Cas... what..." and he couldn’t go on because the biologist had already pulled Dean’s zipper down and slipped his hand inside his boxers. Although inexperienced in this type of situation, Castiel did not hesitate to touch Dean’s cock and began to caress it.

"You ... do you really want this? Are you ... sure? " Dean asked breathlessly.

"Dean, I need you ... I've wanted this ..." he moaned hoarsely. "Tell me what to do ... what you like ... show me, I don’t ..."

"Is this... your first time with a man?"

"Yes ... but I want ..." And he stopped, not knowing how to continue. He didn’t know what I really wanted, having never imagined it would be possible.

 "Like that, Cas... yes... wait..." He let go of Cas for a moment, discarded his own t-shirt, which he dropped to the floor. He gripped the hem of Cas’ shirt and instead of unbuttoning it, he pulled it over his head unceremoniously.

"Take off my shorts, Cas. I want to feel you."

Then his own expert hands opened the button and the zipper of Cas' denim shorts, then pulled them down, along with his underwear. When they were both naked, they touch again, chest to knee, and that threw them back into the flames that consumed them quickly.

"Dean, I... I can’t… I'm going to..."

"Come for me, Cas. Come on me. " Dean’s hoarse voice answered, and his hand wrapped around both shafts, stimulating them to the climax that was imminent.

Initially hesitant, Cas soon abandoned the restrictions and accepted what Dean gave him. He reached his orgasm as he had not done for a long time, emitting a groan that came from his core. That moment ended all the years of abstinence he had had since all those things happened to his family.

"Dean..." was all Cas could articulate moments before reaching climax.

Dean saw the pleasure on the other man's face as he let himself go, and they both seized the moment, holding each other, breathing unevenly, until they relaxed completely.

Wordlessly, Cas stroked Dean's face, sliding a finger from his temple to his jugular. Dean shivered at the sensation and closed his eyes.

"Cas..." Dean started.

"No... don’t say anything."

"But I need to... Thank you. Thank you so much for showing me there are good people… good things, when all I wished for was death... "

"Good things happen, Dean."

"I really thought I was going to die, and that I won't be able to warn Sam. When you found me, I thought it was the end... I never thought... I could survive it all. And I just wanted to live so I could tell Sam everything... "

"Your loyalty and dedication to your brother are admirable."

"And yours... to me, whom you didn’t know… a stranger, a person who could be potentially dangerous. When you took care of me... I couldn’t believe there was anyone here, so far from everything and capable of such detachment. I will never be able to repay what you have done for me. "

"Don’t say that. You don’t have to thank me. I did it and would do it again, regardless of the circumstances... But ... " and he stopped, suddenly embarrassed by what he would say next.

"But what?"

"I... I may not have been as... selfless as it seemed... Well, at first yes, but then... after…"

"After?"

"After I came to know you, it was no longer just a case of…" He swallowed hard before continuing, "Dean, I was very selfish. As much as I knew I could never be anything more to you than a friend, I... I... wanted you. I wanted you like this..."

"And you have me, Cas." Dean said with a warm smile.

And they fell silent after that. They hugged again, this time Dean hiding his face in Cas' chest.

They fell asleep involved in the warmth of that embrace.

The sun was high in the sky when Dean opened his eyes. His chest was pressed against Cas' back. He was snoring softly. The heat was starting to get almost unbearable, but Dean couldn’t make himself to pull away. Thinking of what had happened before, about their spontaneous admissions, his heart swelled. He had come so far, with such a distinct purpose, only to find something he had been looking for all his life. The thought frightened him and at the same time made him feel complete.

As he wrapped the torso of the man in front of him, he thought of the sorrows that had made them find each other there, in a place so remote that it could be the Garden of Eden, untouched and beautiful.

A slow movement disconnected him from his rambling and he loosened his arms so Cas could lie on his back. One hand covered his eyes as Cas sighed. He didn’t know what to do, so Dean gave him more room.

He sat up slowly, trying to reach for some item of clothing that was lying on the floor close to the bed.

As he began to put on his boxers, a touch caught his attention. Cas' hand was on his back, a little unsure, and Dean turned to look at him.

 "Dean ..." and Cas didn’t know how to continue.

Dean looked at him, wondering what he would do next. What if Cas was sorry for what happened and wished to forget it?

 "Cas, I ..." he began, intending to give the other the chance to walk away if that was what he wanted. He couldn’t take for granted all the things they sad the night before, especially after the emotionality to which they were exposed. They both had needs. He felt raw, skinned by all the things that had happened and he knew now that Cas was also full of scars.

 "No, Dean, I need to talk. I think... Huh… I think I owe you an apology. "

 "Apology? Why?"

 "For having... taken advantage of you. I shouldn’t have done what I... "

"You? It was me who... "and Dean realized that they were both trying to blame themselves for one of the best things that had ever happened in their lives. "I'm not sorry about what happened and you shouldn’t feel guilty about anything. But if you want us to forget about it, I'm ready to never talk about it again."

 The biologist's eyes widened at Dean's admission. But that was not what he wanted, far from it:

 "No, Dean, I don’t t want that... Just thought... "

 "Don’t think, okay? I wanted this, you wanted it ... We needed it… It was good. So much better than I've had in a long time. And you?

"Oh, I can’t even begin to tell you how good it..." and his words were interrupted by Dean's ravenous lips on his. This time, in the light of day, Dean could appreciate Cas' body in its manly beauty: his broad, tanned shoulders, whose muscles moved like steel cables under his skin, his slender waist, his flat abdomen, his firm buttocks, so responsive to touch. Cas’ face that once was so distant and serious, now adorned by warm smiles. Dean couldn’t believe the moans which left his rosy lips to every caress.

Dean let the other explore his body as well, even though he'd already known him all the time he'd taken care of him. But instead of firm and objective hands, he received touches of reverence and kind caresses this time, besides the warmth of his wet mouth. Cas seemed to want to touch with his lips all the parts on Dean that his fingers helped heal, and Dean was willing to let him do whatever he wanted.

"Dean ..." Cas whispered, bringing his mouth back to his. "You ... I suppose I'm not... um... yours ..."

Dean nodded.

"No, I ... _aahh_ … I've always liked men and women. Well ... You're very attractive, you know?"

Castiel did not respond, just kissed him again, with renewed passion, demonstrating that Dean was attractive to him as well.

Dean had never imagined that Cas could be so sensual and that excited him even more.

When Cas spoke, it was in the deepest voice:

"What are you going to do to me, Dean?"

Dean had many ideas of how he could get lost in pleasure in that sculptural body. Smiling, he began to kiss and nibble on the long neck, the broad chest, the pink nipples, tasting them.

Cas relaxed and let Dean's mouth explore his body. With every touch on his nipples, his body shivered and his hips were, with only too much willpower, still resting on the mattress, when the need for friction between his legs became almost unbearable.

Dean continued, descending to his abdomen, reaching into the recesses of his hips. Castiel could no longer control himself, pushing them up.

He smiled, enjoying Cas' excitement. His lips moved and wrapped around Cas' rigid cock. He could no longer fully restrain his movements and lightly thrust against the damp heat of Dean's mouth as his hands stroked his hair. Dean allowed him to do what he needed, until Cas pulled Dean’s head up.

 "Dean, I’m sorry, I ..."

 "Okay, Cas," Dean murmured in response as he let go of it reluctantly.

Castiel was speechless and pulled Dean back for yet another kiss.

"I don’t want it to end yet." And, timidly, he asked. "I want to perform oral sex on you too... tell me how ..."

Even though the words were a little too formal for his taste, Dean's response was to sit up and lean on the headboard, offering his throbbing member to the dark-haired man's ministrations.

Unsure but willing, Cas was engaged in the activity, noticing its hardness, its soft skin and its unique taste.

Dean closed his eyes and said in a litany, "Yes, like this ..." and "more, more ..." His hands gripped the sheets hard until he felt he was too close and touched Cas' forehead with his fingers. "Cas, I ... I'm going to come... stop..."

Cas pulled away, but continued with his touches until Dean let himself go.  He continued to stimulate Dean, not taking his eyes off his face until he was complete sated.

Dean was prostrate with the orgasm he had just had. The experience had been even better than the previous one.

Castiel pulled Dean down, and he now, lying, he felt totally relaxed.

Cas rested his head on Dean's soft belly. Dean hated that, but he had a little belly fat that he could not shake off even with all the exercises he did.  The biologist didn’t seem to care, rubbing his nose in it, content.

"Wow ..." Dean finally said. "How about you? You still haven’t..."

"Don’t worry, I'm fine."

 "No, I want it to be good for you too ... do you want me to finish what I was doing before? Or would you ... like to be inside me? "

Faced with this question, Castiel stared at him, blushing.

"Dean, I know the mechanics of… anal penetration... and although I have never done it I know that if you are not lubricated you will get hurt. Besides... "  and Cas left the sentence incomplete. Dean understood that he didn’t want to talk about the violence that Dean had suffered at the hands of Alastair. He really was grateful for Cas’ respect and kindness.

"It's all right. I get it. But I want to make you come, I want you to feel good too. I want to do it for you. " And he reached out to touch the cock that had lost some of its hardess, bringing it quickly into readiness. With that, he turned his mouth to the cock and stimulated it until it reached orgasm, swallowing, with pleasure, Castiel's emission.

Dean crawled to Cas' side and lay there, leaning on one elbow to gaze affectionately at the dark-haired man who was panting with his eyes closed.

 When Cas finally opened his eyes he found Dean's radiant smile.

The most beautiful smile he had ever seen on that face.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Dean could hardly believe what had happened. After spending a day tormented by having angered Castiel, they had slept together and had sex. It had been very good and Cas looked happy.

Cas got up before him and showered. As on previous days he brought breakfast in bed for Dean. But this time it was different, as Dean pulled him into a kiss before accepting the tray.

"Mm, good morning," he said, smiling. "Do you have any special plans for today?"

"Yes, I thought about going back to my research activities now that you're well. Would you like to come with me? I don’t intend to go very far and some of the places are beautiful. "

Dean would accompany Castiel anywhere after the day before. And farther still after the _night_ before, he thought.

"I'd like that. I want to see what you do. "

Cas smiled.

"So eat, take a shower and I'll get my things. If we leave early, we'll deal better with the heat. "

Dean watched him walk away, thinking how handsome he was and how much he had already suffered. He deserved to be happy. If Dean could do that for him, at least for a while, he would try.

 

The day's journey took them to three of Cas' research points in the forest, accessible by foot after small stretches by boat.

The conversation between them flowed naturally, and Dean avoided reluctantly touching him. He wanted to kiss him there, under the bromeliads, in the scorching, damp heat, but he feared to frighten the other man with his impulsiveness.

Cas performed his tasks with clinical precision and objectivity, two qualities Dean had already enjoyed when he'd taken care of him. His gestures were efficient and his hands were beautiful, long-fingered. For the first time Dean noticed that he wore a wedding band.

The biologist also explained what he was doing, trying to involve Dean in the activity. He talked easily about the subject and Dean was sure he should be an excellent teacher. Dean pictured him in a classroom full of students and he felt several of them would desire this young, serious-faced, athletic-looking teacher.

They returned to the boat after a pause to consume the sandwiches and cereal bars they had taken with them.

Castiel paused for a moment to deposit his backpack in the canoe and turned. Dean was near the river bank and watched the sunshine in the water. He was amazed at how much he wanted Dean, but not only his beautiful body. He wanted more. A lot more. But he was afraid it was not possible.

He walked slowly to where Dean was and stood beside him. He turned and smiled at him. Castiel had avoided getting too close to him for the whole day, afraid to scare him with the intensity of his affection. But when their eyes met, he realized that he didn’t have to do that. Reflected in the emerald green eyes he saw his own desire. He leaned and kissed Dean under the trees.

 

Dean reciprocated, looking a little surprised, after a day of controlled distance, but soon he took the reins, turning them and pressing Cas against the trunk of a huge tree. He brushed his body against his, getting back a guttural groan.

"Cas... what are we doing?" He asked hoarsely.

"I don’t want to think about it. I just want to be with you and enjoy your company while we can... "

And Dean remembered Alfie. He had to ask.

"How many... how many days do we have until Alfie returns?"

Castiel looked at him, chest tight, and answered softly:

"Eight days. He'll be there in eight days. "

"Eight days? I have a lot to do, then. "

"Yes... You need to finish writing your report and..." Castiel said, a sad note in his voice.

"Yes, but it was not quite that what I had in mind." And he knelt in front of Cas, looking him in the eyes.

"I want you, Cas. I want to have sex with you in your bed, in the shower, on the floor, in the hammock, here in the forest..." And he unbuttoned the shorts that were already stretched over Cas’ erection."I want you, Cas" and his mouth wrapped around Castiel's hard cock.

 

Castiel couldn’t avoid smiling on the return trip. Dean was almost completely healed and regaining his strength.

Dean was an intelligent, funny, attractive, kind man. The fact that he'd been attracted to Cas intrigued him. Perhaps it was only a way of repaying the care he had given him, but he couldn’t help but wish for more. But he also knew their days together were numbered. Within a week Dean would be on his way home to devote himself to investigating Heyerdall, and his days in the rainforest would be nothing more than a memory.

Castiel decided that they would make the last few days truly memorable.

 

They tied the boat in the usual place and Cas collected his equipment. Dean was already waiting for him on dry land.

As he stood beside him, Castiel reached for his hand, intertwining their fingers. He looked at Dean, who, after a second of surprise, smiled and let himself be led back to the lodge.

 

The days left were lived intensely. They easily fell into a routine of companionship, now that both had stripped emotionally in front of each other, revealing their deepest scars.

Talks punctuated by kisses, making up sessions in the hammock that invariably ended with one of them almost falling off it, long nights spent learning the secrets of each other's body – that was their routine.

The need for closeness was something they shared, and so, unquestioningly, they both accepted the fact and were always together, exchanging gentle touches at breakfast, hands joined in the walks in the forest. There were sexy touches in the shower and long kisses everywhere.

Two days before Alfie's arrival, Dean approached Cas while he washed the dinner dishes and hugged him from behind, resting his chin on the slightly lower man's shoulder.

"You know... I was thinking... I want to be even closer to you, Cas. I want to feel you inside me. I want to take that memory with me."

Cas closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, feeling already aroused. It was a constant these days.

"Dean," he said huskily. "I want that too. Very much, you know. But..."

"Enough of that. If the problem is lubrication, I've got an idea. "

Cas turned around and stared at him, his arousal evident.

"I have no lube, Dean. I don’t want to hurt you. "

"Well, I think we have something that can be used as a lubricant... Would you like to try it?"

"What is it?"

"I saw in your bathroom cabinet a jar of aloe Vera gel... It says on the label it's an ointment for sunburn. But the consistency is very... suggestive." And he showed Cas his most seductive smile.

"Do you want to try it? But if you feel any discomfort we will stop, right?"

"As you wish." He kissed him.

Dean pulled Cas by the hand toward the bedroom. He followed and wasn’t surprised to find the jar already on the bedside table. And some condoms he got from the emergency medical kit the University had sent Cas a while ago. He could only laugh, thinking how much Dean wanted this and how he had planned for it to happen.

Cas hugged Dean and began to undress him, slowly, as they kissed, their tongues involved in a tireless exploration. His mouth slid to Dean’s neck and left a mark there. His hand was already wrapped around Dean'shard cock.

Dean was pushed back onto the mattress, and Cas covered his torso with wet kisses. He slid his mouth down until he found Dean’s cock and began to lick it, from base to tip, also stimulating it with his hand. When Dean was already moaning, he brought his mouth to his testicles and began to stimulate them with his tongue. The lying man began to squirm and pull the sheets, as he uttered the most indecent sounds Cas had ever heard.

But Cas had bolder plans. With both hands, he lifted Dean's thighs, pushing them back. Dean's eyes widened and Cas instructed him to hold his knees close to his chest. His tongue licked his own lips and then, slowly, he licked gently the perineum. Gradually he went down, until he reached the opening. He tried, with his gentle touches, to replace the memories Dean had of the horrendous moments at the hands of his aggressor.

If the sounds were indecent before, there was no definition in his vocabulary for what Cas heard now.

He kept circling Dean's hole with his tongue and at the same time stimulating the penis with his right hand. Slowly, he tucked the tip of his tongue into the tight ring of muscles, which immediately contracted. Cas laughed and continued there, kissing and licking, until Dean begged:

"Cas, get the gel... a finger, slowly... please."

Castiel opened the jar with trembling fingers. He  slather them and hesitantly brought them to the entrance, first touching it lightly, then circling it in light movements.

" _Aaahh_ , so good... now go slowly..."

Cas obeyed and began to penetrate him slowly with his finger. Soon Dean was gasping for more. He added another finger, twisting and opening them, as Dean was instructing him in groans. A third was added and Dean said anxiously:

"That’s it, Cas ... I need you now ..."

Castiel put a condom on and took a generous amount of the gel to spread it over his erect cock. Cautiously he brushed Dean’s hole with the tip. Always careful, he would look at Dean all the time, to make sure everything was okay. At the moment, he was panting and begging for more. Castiel began to push very slowly, caressing with the other hand the other man's raised thigh. And then he noticed. Dean held his breath and covered his face with his arm. He forced himself a little and he was sure. A silent tear ran down Dean's face, his teeth clenched.

Castiel immediately removed it, which made Dean inhale deeply. A second later Castiel was beside him, calming him with soft words.

"Shhh, all right, Dean. It's all right. I... I won’t do anything you don’t want... "

Dean was crying softly now, and he had turned his back to Cas. He hated himself for accepting the suggestion. It was a delicate matter and he should have thought better of it. But they both wanted that, and he thought he could help him get over that monstrous act.

Castiel wrapped his arms around him, quietly, letting Dean cry as he needed to.

A few minutes later, Dean abruptly got up and headed for the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Castiel followed, and stood outside, listening for a few minutes. He did not want to pressure him, wanted to give him some space, but he feared for him. He did a quick mental analysis of the contents of the bathroom cabinet, wondering if something could be used if Dean wanted to hurt himself.

Feeling useless, Castiel ran his fingers through his hair and closed his eyes, leaning against the wall beside the door. His chest was tight, tears slowly gathering under his eyelids.

The door opened after a while. Dean walked out, his eyes red, but his breathing seemed steady. He looked at Cas fondly, took one of his hands and pulled him back to the bed.

He laid them face to face and hid his face in Castiel's chest. He didn’t cry anymore, but he needed support. The biologist enveloped him with his arms, wishing he could protect Dean from all the suffering in the world.


	13. Chapter 13

Dean's last day at Cas' house was hectic. They needed to organize the material written by the agent, prepare him to be taken on the trip to Manaus, as well as the reports of the biologist's research. Cas also chose some clothes for Dean to wear in town until he had a chance to buy something with the money he had lent him. He'd love to to join Dean, but if he had to wait for Alfie, he'd have to stay away for at least a month. Cas was already late in his reports, due to days spent tending to Dean.

They had to justify Dean's presence there, and Dean thought he could pretend to be an independent explorer, an adventurer who had lost his way and found Cas’ house by accident. Neither of them knew if the story had credibility, but they concluded that the true circumstances of their encounter would be even more unbelievable. In addition, Dean intended to remain 'dead' until he arrived in the United States and finished working on his case. It was better don’t put Alastair on alert.

Castiel tried to get busy and don’t think about what would happen when his unexpected companion was gone. His previous routine suddenly seemed sterile, disheartening. But his contract had him in Brazil for at least seven months, before it was renewed, if so desired by both parties. Before Dean, this issue seemed resolved, but at the moment, it weighed on the desire to meet the other man again.

Dean was both anxious about the long journey that would take him home and distressed at the prospect of leaving the one that had become a close friend. He tried not to think about it, for he knew their lives were too different as they were for the possibility of a more lasting relationship between them to be real.

In the afternoon, Castiel invited him to take a little trip together, a last tour of the forest, a place both inhospitable and paradisiacal.

They rowed at random, watching the birds, the vegetation, involved in the deep sounds of the forest. But their eyes never went far away from each other, as if they wanted to record in their memories the images of this that could be their last day in mutual and exclusive company.

Dean intended to add Castiel as a witness to his case, but he knew that any further encounter was uncertain. The biologist was willing to testify, but this would probably occur after many months, in a very different setting. What would happen in the space of time between the two occasions was impossible to predict and what they would feel then, a mystery.

They returned at dusk, after having enjoyed an unforgettable sunset, the sky colored in yellow, pink and lilac. It was like somebody up there painted the sky only for them, as if they were the only humans left on the planet.

They walked hand in hand, both aware time was running out. Dean then wrapped his arm around Cas' shoulders as he had his hand resting on the taller man's hip. They walked slowly, as if that alone could slow the passage of time.

"Cas, what time Alfie usually arrives?" He was calculating how long they still had to be together, just the two of them.

"Usually by noon. He usually stays overnight at the lodge prior to mine and takes about 4 hours to get here. Why?"               

"I was thinking ..." but he didn’t finish the sentence. But Cas knew what he was talking about, so he didn’t ask.

Entering the house, Dean and Cas cooked a light meal, which they consumed on the table outside. Cas was silent, the separation already weighing in his mind.

"Come on, let's take a shower." Dean said, taking him by the hand. Leaving things as they were on the table, he followed without hesitation.

They undressed slowly, lost in caresses and provocative glances. Under the tepid water of the shower they took the time to explore, once again, the bodies they had just begun to learn.

They did not want the day to end. They walked to the bedroom, hugging each other, kissing, as if they could not be close enough.

Dean sat on the bed and pulled Cas to sit on his lap. They were naked and their skin still moist from the shower. The friction of their swollen cocks was driving them crazy.

Cas’ lips approached Dean's jugular and sucked a mark there, which he was to take home with him. Then he whispered in his ear:

"Dean ... I ... want you inside me."

Dean opened his eyes wide and stared at Castiel in disbelief.

"What? Are you sure? "

"Yes, I have no doubts. I need it. Now. Please, Dean, I want to feel you inside me. I want to be able to feel it tomorrow so I know what we had was real… Please."

Dean swallowed hard at the admission that Cas would miss him. He shook his head and turned them, placing the other man lying on his back on the mattress.

"I'll go slowly, Cas. If you change your mind, I want you to tell me. It might hurt a little. "

" I want you." And he brought his legs up. Dean put one of Cas' knees over his shoulder and began kissing and licking Cas' cock. At the same time, carefully, he began to draw circles with his index finger around his hole. Castiel moaned, demonstrating how much he liked it.

"Dean, I can handle it. More, please..."

Dean took the jar of gel that had been on the bedside table from the previous night and their frustrated attempt. He hesitated for a moment, but when he looked at Cas' face, he signaled for him to continue.

He covered his fingers in the gel and slowly inserted one of them, to the first knuckle. He waited a little, so Cas could get used to the sensation. Then he began to move his finger carefully, in and out. The biologist had his eyes closed, but the touch made him moan.

In no time, Castiel was impatient for more. The caresses were nice and it was the most intimate thing they had done, but he wanted to find out the real reason why people did it.

Dean inserted a second finger, parting them lightly to slowly relax the musculature. Then his fingers found a sensitive spot inside Cas' body and he squirmed in the bed.               

"Dean ..." gasped "More, more ... like that..."

Dean smiled and continued to prepare him until he felt he was as ready as he could be, this being his first time.

Seeking final confirmation that they would do so, he stroked Cas' thigh, who looked at him and said:

"I want you, Dean ..."

The freckled man lowered the leg he had over his shoulder and lined his cock at Cas' entrance. Slowly and carefully he advanced into the unexplored body of the other man.

Castiel now looked him in the eye, to assure his partner that everything was all right. He was willing to go to the end, despite the discomfort he felt right now.

Sheathed entirely inside Cas, Dean waited a moment before starting to move back and forth. The tight heat of Castiel was amazing and Dean had to hold back, remembering that this was new to him.

Castiel, however, wrapped his legs around his waist, bringing him closer and demanding more.

Their mouths met and through groans and whispers, sensual touches, they both reached completion.

Castiel's eyes were bright and Dean leaned over to touch his face. They were still united, hesitant to end this moment.

"Was it good, Cas?" Dean asked, and received a huge smile in response. Cas pulled him into another kiss and muttered:

 "This is mine forever, Dean. No matter what happens, this moment is ours. You made me feel this way and I'll never forget. "He did not mean, in fact, just the physical aspect but a feeling that was growing day by day. He didn’t know how to define it, but it was something beautiful and that he would keep forever.

Dean pressed his forehead to Cas’, eyes closed, not knowing what to say.

 "Cas ... I ..." and he fell silent, unsure, not knowing how to express everything he felt.

"Don’t say anything. Hold me ... like this. I'm sleepy "and snuggled in the other's arms. He wanted to spend every second of the remaining time wrapped in Dean's warmth.

 

The morning was silent. They stayed in bed until they could no longer escape the fact that in a few hours Dean wouldn’t be there anymore.

Castiel got up first, taking a shower while Dean dozed for the last time in that bed.

Returning to the bedroom, Castiel paused at the door and there stood admiring the man who had caused a complete revolution in his life. Lying on his stomach, naked, his arms under the pillow, the sun lightly touching his shoulders, where a myriad of small brown spots were spread. He wished he had time to catalog each of those freckles. But time was running out quickly. He didn’t want to analyze his feelings, he didn’t want to label them, much less expose them to Dean. His inner state was both euphoric and desperate. Dean needed to move forward. He needed to be confident, ready for the challenges of the near future. He had to be sure of Castiel's cooperation and that Castiel would not require anything in exchange for it. His parting should be calm, firm. He hoped to be capable of this.

"Cas," Dean called hoarsely when he saw him staring into the void. "Hey…”

Castiel approached, sitting down beside him, a hand sliding slowly across the well-defined muscles of his back.

 "Good morning." Dean pressed his face back into the pillow, closing his yes. His inner conflict was also great, Dean also decided to silence his feelings. Sex was easy, he had the ability to deal with it, but feelings were something that still escaped his full understanding. And in the current situation, he didn’t even want to think about the implications.

He laid there, receiving the gentle caresses, until Cas said his name.

"Dean... we need to get ready. Let’s eat something, take a shower, Alfie should be here soon. "

Cas had prepared a nice meal, with all the dishes Dean appreciated. Beside the door was the backpack with the things he would take with him.

They were still at the table, discussing some details of the story they would tell when they heard someone approaching.

"Castiel? I’m here!" Alfie called, announcing himself with familiarity.

Stepping on the deck he was surprised to see a different person in this place where only Professor Novak should be. He stopped, uncertain of what to do, his gaze denoting confusion.

"Oh, Alfie, good morning! Come in, meet Mr. Coverdale. "

The young man stepped forward suspiciously, reaching for Dean's hand.

“Mr. Coverdale. Nice to meet you, Alfie… Alfred Pike."

"Please take a seat, have some tea. You must be surprised" Cas said. "Mr. Coverdale - Dean - also surprised me." He completed with a smile.

"Yes, I expected no one but you, Castiel..."

"Ah, so you can imagine my relief when I got here and found Professor Novak. I ended up separated from my group of explorers and was fortunate to have found this place. "

"Have you been here for many days?" Alfie asked.

"About a week... I guess?" He looked Cas direction, asking for confirmation.

"Yes, I think it was last Tuesday. You must imagine my disbelief as I see him approaching... "

"I was hungry and thirsty... If it was not for your friend here I think I'd be at the bottom of the river today..." Dean finished, laughing.

"Alfie, Dean needs you to take him to Manaus, is it okay? I can give you some money if you need... "

"Sure. But you don’t have to bother with money, right? I’ll do you a favor. Speaking of which, I can’t be late today, I still have to get back to Dr. Bloome, she just handed me some letters but forgot to give me her report. "

"Letters? Do you deliver letters too? Castiel, I think I've finally figured out how I can send you the money you're lending me, "Dean said, smiling. He thought not only of paying the debt, but of telling him when the team would come to gather evidence and when he would be called to testify.

Castiel nodded and walked away to pick up the heavy bags that had been left on the deck for him. In fact, he was trying to control his breathing, since the proximity of Dean's departure was making him extremely uncomfortable.

Alfie had brought everything he had asked for. He began to put the products in the right places, to empty the bags, which the young man would take back. He apologized and locked himself in the bathroom when he felt like crying.

He leaned back against the sink and tried to take a deep breath. Alfie shouldn’t see how emotional he was. But more important than the young assistant not realizing, it was Dean not knowing how much he was shaken by his departure. He turned on the tap and washed his face. He waited some minutes and went back to the kitchen.

They were talking about Dean's supposed expedition, and Cas stopped to listen, wondering how Dean could easily persuade people. He had a magnetism, a way with people that really impressed Cas.

A moment later Alfie rose, taking the empty mug to the sink.

"Well, are you ready to go?" He asked Dean, who nodded.

Castiel handed him a flash drive and a folder containing printed sheets.

"Well, have a good trip, Dean. It was a pleasure meeting you, even under such adverse circumstances."

Dean shaked Cas' hand and responded in a neutral manner, thanking him politely. He picked up the backpack and walked out, leaving Castiel standing on the edge of the deck. Cas couldn’t move, imagining that if he accompanied them up to the boat he wouldn’t be able to keep away from Dean.

He waved slowly as Dean looked back.

As soon as they disappeared through the vegetation, Castiel turned and entered the cabin. He began to collect the plates from the morning meal and, after placing them in the sink, leaned on it, sighing.

He turned when he heard footsteps on the deck and was enveloped by Dean's arms. His lips parted for one last, deep kiss.

"I forgot my cap," he said with a wink. "Bye, Cas"

And he ran to meet the young man who was waiting for him on the boat.


	14. Chapter 14

Castiel didn't know what to do. The silence of the house was something that would take him some time to get used to again.

He sat on the step of the deck and in doing so he had a physical memory of Dean's presence. As he had told him – “ _I want to be able to feel it tomorrow so I know what we had was real….”_ He had never imagined anything like this would happen. The attraction he felt... the feelings Dean had evoked... This part of his life, when he came here, seemed finished. He'd never thought of feeling like this again, and yet Dean had come and awoke his heart all over again.

He thought about how he would face loneliness from now on. Work, he thought. _All I have left is work._ And without giving himself time to think, he stood an got his equipment for the day's journey.

 

Dean accompanied Alfie to Manaus. During the long trip they talked little as Alfie spent most of his time reading, which left Dean with plenty of time to think.

Looking at the vegetation around him, he thought he would never see the forest the same way. During his whole journey it had become, in turns, a beautiful, mysterious thing; a terrifying environment; and a place he would like to return someday. But his thoughts kept coming back, in fact, to a simple shelter in the dense forest, inhabited by a blue-eyed gentle man.

Disembarking in the city, he thanked the Alfie and looked for a hotel. Not the upscale hotel he had stayed in before, but a simple place where he could go unnoticed.

He purchased some clothes and went to the American Consular Agency. Arriving there, he had a hard time explaining his lack of documents, but finally managed to get in touch with the FBI headquarters and they confirmed his identity. In a few days he would have documents to return to the United States, but the first thing he had to do was talk to Victor. He would ask him to tell Sam secretly that he was alive.

Dean knew he had risked talking to the Bureau, since it might have been infiltrated by Heyerdall's agents. But there was no other way.

In the days that followed, he spent most of his time in his hotel room, thinking about how he would put together his case. He thought he could come back with Victor and a team of experts to collect evidence at the torture site. And maybe Castiel could accompany them... No, he had to focus on the case ahead. Castiel shouldn’t be involved more than necessary, he knew that anything more could put him at risk.

A week after arriving in Manaus, he boarded a flight that would take him home.

Dean had been gone for more than two weeks. It seemed unbelievable to Castiel that he was having such a hard time getting used to his routine again. He had returned to normal activities, but he caught his mind wandering in the most undesirable moments.

The nights were long, warm, and empty, and he tried to fill them with memories. He slept in the bed he'd shared with Dean for a short period of time, but that had been a pivotal point in his life. He had discovered that he might be attracted to another man, that sex was new and full of possibilities and more than anything else: that he could still fall in love after the tragedy that had taken his family from him. He had imagined that he would live many years completely alone, teaching, studying, never to love again. Dean had brought all back into his life. And he was grateful.

But the moment he lay down, he began to remember those green eyes in a beautiful freckled face… And the strong, muscular body that had taken him to new levels of pleasure.

In those quiet hours, he masturbated to the memory of what they had done in this room. Then he felt lonely. Sometimes he felt hopeless, thinking of the fact that neither of them had spoken of feelings. There had been no compromise, except for the short time they had had to live the moment.

In his daily forays through the streams and the forest, he sometimes found himself haunted by the memory of laughter echoing through the trees, of a handsome man walking beside him. And he had to look around to make sure he was really alone. But there was no hand holding his. Then he would smile sadly and move on.

One day, checking point number six, he noticed that the insects of the colony he had observed before seemed to be in frantic activity. He observed that it was an expansion in the hive and that this reflected an increase in the number of bees in the swarm. It was the first time he had noticed the fact so clearly. This was a positive fact, but it needed further observation for verification as well as environmental analysis to conclude the reasons that led to the expansion. He gathered up the data, checked the equipment and smiled while he walked back at the canoe tied a few hundred yards away.

He walked back slowly, enjoying the surroundings, which he gradually began to perceive in a new light. As if seeing everything for the first time, as through Dean's eyes, he marveled at the exuberance of the Amazonian environment.

Arriving at the riverbank he stopped, took a bottle of water and drank. His eyes wandered over the surface of the water and again he was drawn into Dean's unforgettable presence. He remembered when they had been there and how his companion had been mesmerized by the sunshine reflected on the river. He remembered the way Dean had touched him, after a full day of restraint, when all Cas wanted was to get lost in those arms.

The beautiful tree, whose cozy shade had enveloped them, was a few feet away. He leaned against its trunk the same way he had once. Dean’s lips have felt so soft against his, his tongue so hungry. He closed his eyes and remembered Dean kneeling in front of him, his eyes dark with desire as his fingers unbuttoned his shorts. He remembered too vividly the moment Dean had touched his body.

His cock twitched as he remembered Dean's strong hands, his fingers still bandaged, lowering his boxers as they brushed his thighs provocatively and finally took his cock into his mouth. He remembered the wet heat, the tongue that moved in circles, enveloping every part of his penis. He felt the heat rising in his belly again.

He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. He was not going to do it there. Not alone.

Where was Dean now? Would he think of this place and feel the things Cas had? Castiel was only sure _he_ would never forget.

He picked up the equipment he had left behind at the foot of the tree, and sighed as he headed for the canoe to return to his house. The day seemed too long ahead of him.

 

A month later, on the scheduled date, Castiel received a visit from Alfie.

He waited anxiously for news from Dean, but the boy only told him that they said goodbye on the dock and didn’t see each other again. Castiel was disappointed but he tried to hide it.

Alfie had brought him, as usual, his supplies and the University documents packed in a large envelope. He stayed there a little before resuming his journey.

As he turned away to leave, he suddenly turned back to Castiel and said:

"Oh, there's a letter from the US for you. I put it in the University envelope, okay? See you next month, Castiel. "

Castiel didn’t dare believe it would be Dean's. Agitated, he opened the envelope and found a smaller, white envelope. He was addressed to _Dr. C. J. Novak_ , in care of the Manaus office. As identification of the sender there were the initials _D.W_.

He carefully opened it and unfolded the paper with trembling fingers.

 

_Dear Cas,_

_I’m home. I'm okay. My case is coming together and soon I will send you news about the team that will go to Brazil to investigate the torture site. I will also let you know when you’ll testify, if you are still willing._

_My brother is well and I have a nephew. He is a huge baby, like his father, and his name is John, like his grandfather. Sam asked me to thank you for everything you've done for me, helping me through recovery. He says he hopes to meet you someday and thank you personally._

_I transferred the amount you lent me to your bank account in Brazil._

_Thank you again for everything, I know that I will never be able to repay what you have done for me._

_Regards,_

_D._

 

Castiel re-read the letter several times. Despite being happy to learn that Dean was in good health and that the case was on the way, he was disappointed by the lack of a more personal message. But maybe Dean didn't think of those days the way he did. Maybe Castiel should try to forget what he felt for Dean Winchester.

As he put the letter back into the envelope, something he had not noticed before fell to the floor. When he saw what it was, he began to laugh. It was a chocolate wrapping which had been placed in the envelope along with the letter. It was from a _‘CHOCOLATE COM RECHEIO DE CUPUAÇU’_ – cupuaçu filled chocolate bar. _"You were right, it's very good"_ was written on its back.

Dean had remembered.

 

"Victor, you know I'd rather not involve Dr. Novak before the hearing."

"But he knows the area better than anyone else, Dean. He has been there and the position you have marked on the map is only approximate. I'd like him to join us. Do you think he would object? "

"I know all this, but... He has his job, okay? I've messed up enough and he’ll have to come to the trial, so... " He tried to dissuade his colleague. He himself was unable to go back to Brazil at the moment. He was in therapy - mandatory, imposed by the Bureau - and was advised not to return to that place so soon.

"It would be better if you wrote him saying we'll show up there. I think it will make him more receptive to us. "

"He's willing to cooperate but I wouldn’t like to..." And Dean stopped, his thoughts not for Victor's ears. Only Sam had learned of the extent of his relationship with Castiel. He suspected when Dean told him about the biologist. But not even to Sam he had been able to explain the deeper nature of his feelings. He wasn’t sure if Cas felt the same way or if he was only in need of sexual release. He wanted to believe he did but he couldn’t. "It's all right."

"Are you going to write him or not? If so, please do it as soon as possible. As far as we know he'll be accessible through the assistant in ten days, won’t he? "

"Yes, Alfie confirmed that he was going to return there on the 28th. I'm going to write him and I'm going to warn him that an _asshole_  will lead the expedition. So he'll know how to deal with you. "

"Sure, of course, he learned everything he knows about the subject from dealing with you," Agent Hendriksen remarked, smiling.

Victor left him alone in his office and Dean began to think about the letter he would send. He thought of the previous letter, which had taken six or seven attempts to write, for he always ended up saying very personal things that he feared Castiel would misinterpret. But this time it was official business and he thought it would be easier.

 

_Dear Cas,_

_I hope this letter finds you well. Our case is almost ready to go to trial and the team of experts will be coming to Brazil in twenty days in search of evidence. My friend Victor Hendricksen will lead the expedition. I am unable to be a part of it at this time._

_I would rather not involve you more than necessary, but everyone here agrees that you would make things easier. So, I ask you to help them, guide them to that place. If you object, for some reason, send a message through Alfie so that he can contact us as soon as possible._

 

He stopped writing. He had written objectively about the expedition and had given Cas an opportunity to decline if he needed or wanted to. But now he had to finish the letter, and his mind kept reminding of his lazy days in the forest, of clasped hands, kisses... He could not let any of that end up in writing. It was a semi-official letter, what if anyone else read it?

He was determined to be straight to the point and end it in a professional manner.  _And it was not as if Cas had answered my first letter_ , he thought .

 

_I thank you for your cooperation on behalf of the Bureau. When your presence in Washington would be required, you will hear from us again._

_Regards,_

_D._


	15. Chapter 15

Alfie approached Castiel's shelter at a slow pace. The heat was unbearable and the bags full of supplies felt extremelly heavy.

"Castiel!" He shouted as he approached. "Castiel, I'm here!"

Castiel came out of the shelter, a smile on his lips.

"Good afternoon, Alfie." He offered his hand to the assistant and to Alfie's surprise, he pulled him into a hug.

"Well, now would be the part when you hug back ..." he teased, before feeling a light pat on the back and receiving a confused look.

Castiel had rediscovered human contact with Dean and it hurt more than ever to not have someone around. His previous routine of reading, research, and the eventual attempt to resume writing his book was no longer enough. He felt alone most of the time and he was seriously thinking of ending his contract with the University and returning to the United States. Not that it meant looking for Dean. They were going to meet at the hearing and then Castiel would decide what to do with the rest of his life.

"It’s too hot today, isn’t it?" Alfie asked.  “And I'm also late... I would like some water, please… I don’t have time for anything else today... " Castiel was slightly disappointed, he wanted to talk, but he quickly gave him the water and collected the supplies. He saw another large brown envelope on the outside table . He entered the shelter, returning with his usual flash drive, the folder with printed documents and a white envelope.

"Alfie, would you please post this letter for me?" He had addressed the reply letter to the University so that it would forward it to the FBI. He didn’t want Alfie to get suspicious.

"Alright, Castiel, I really have to go. See you next time." The last words were spoken at a distance, as he strode away.

Castiel was eager to see if there was any letter from Dean in the envelope. He knew he shouldn’t be so eager, but loneliness and longing said otherwise.

There it was. A small, white envelope with the sender _D.W_.

The biologist couldn’t help himself and tore one side, impatient.

He read the contents, which dealt with the coming of an FBI expedition. The tone was objective, and there weren’t any personal remarks, nothing to be read in between the lines like in the previous one, where Castiel had read, in a simple candy wrapper, a deeper meaning.

Disappointment washed over him. He was not sure before that Dean had no feeling for him other than the gratitude he had expressed many times. But after this short and dry message, he was sure that the feelings in this relationship were unilateral.

He folded the letter carefully and put it back in the envelope. He got up and left it on the kitchen table, along with the book he was reading. He had no intention of keeping it, as he had with the previous one, in his backpack, for re-reading it during his daily excursions.

And he thought of the contents of the letter he had written in reply to the first. He had made no statement that he regretted now, but the tone was much friendlier. And he made mention of things that Dean would know... No, he had not said anything explicit... He just hoped the agent would not be upset by the contents when I read it.

Dean, Victor and their friend Garth, finally finished preparing the expedition to the Amazon rainforest and obtained permission to move on. The team included two more forensic experts who would search for and collect any evidence at the site of Dean's torture. They hoped, further, to collect evidence that would link Heyerdall to other crimes, widening the scope of the case against him.

The flight was scheduled for the following day. They would arrive in Manaus on a chartered flight two days before the day they should arrive at Castiel’s. They would have time to arrange some last minute details. With Alfie's help, Dean had made contacts for the rental of two small boats that would take the agents and equipment.

Dean saw them board the plane and waved at them. His thoughts turned, again, as they had done incessantly since his return, to the simple lodging of the 'bee observer' biologist . His body almost ached from his need to remember the moments he had lived with him. Dreams with those long, skillful hands woke him up at night and he always found himself alone in his bed. Though the memories of that athletic body haunted him day and night, it was the gentleness of Castiel's manners and the depth of his voice that he missed most. And he wondered if someday, though improbable, he could have them again just for himself.

 

Castiel's routine was practically the same. His visits to the research sites, the maintenance of the equipment, and the data collection took several hours. He received comparative data from the University and included it in his long spreadsheets, and then analyzed them. He also was writting a complete report to be presented at the end of the contract (which after Dean's letter he had decided to renew, contrary to what he decided earlier) and to satisfy a personal need, he also wrote a diary detailing the conditions of survival in the rainforest, which he hoped someday would be published as a book.

In his spare time, he read technical books and sometimes detective novels. The days that once seemed to be the perfect length, a harmonious balance between hours of work, leisure, and rest, at the moment seemed too long, as well as the torturous nights. At first, as he had been awakened by dreams in which green eyes stared at him. Then he would touch himself thinking of the agent who had shared his bed for such a brief period of time, but which had had a great impact on him. As the days passed, he realized that, despite the immediate relief, masturbating did more harm than good and he decided to stop doing that.

He needed to find a new interest, to help pass the time. A new project, perhaps... But he remembered that within two days he would be visited by the FBI agents he was to accompany on the investigation. His thoughts again went to Dean and wondered why he wouldn’t come along. Perhaps his involvement with the case was too close for him to have an objective view of the facts.

It was late and he was tired. He went over his personal preparation for the approaching journey and went to sleep.

Sometimes lying in his own bed caused him a wave of memories that kept him from sleeping. On those nights, he slept in the hammock, inside the shelter, as he had done the nights Dean had been recovering. So tonight he would sleep in the hammock, for he knew that if he didn’t, he wouldn't sleep at all.

He was awakened a few hours later by the sound of cautious footsteps on the deck. He stood still, listening. For a moment he thought it might be the agents, but when he saw the front door open and two men enter the cabin, he was sure that was not the case. They went immediately to the bedroom, as if they knew the inner configuration of his house. Castiel knew he had to escape.

When the men had their backs to him, he got down from the hammock and slowly, as quietly as he could, started walking toward the door. He took his boots and moved away quickly. It was dark and he was already thinking about how he would get to his boat. He then concluded that these people should have already taken possession of it and that he should actually seek a place to hide until it was day and could take another course of action.

But before he could go far, he was hit at the back of the head.

 

Dean came early to the office. His head throbbed after another sleepless night. He thought of his colleagues who should have already arrived in Brazil and soon would meet Castiel. He imagined the reception they would have, if Cas would serve them a meal before they left for the investigation trip. If Victor would ask about the time Dean had been there and how Cas would respond.

He sat down at his desk and turned on the computer. He leaned back and pressed his fingers to his eyes, taking a deep breath.

Opening his eyes, he noticed an envelope on the desk that was out of the inbox. It was addressed to him and his sender was _Dr. Castiel Novak_.

Hesitantly, he took it. By the date of the postmark, it should have been sent as a reply to his first letter. He felt sick for having thought that Cas hadn’t answered him.

With a letter opener he cut the envelope flap and removed two folded sheets from inside. Giddy and yet a little fearful, he began reading it.

 

_Dear Dean,_

_I am happy that your return journey has been satisfactory and it pleases me to know that you are in good health._

_I imagine the reunion with your brother and his family was an exciting moment. For my part, I also hope to get to know Sam, but not for him to thank me, but to tell him how brave you were during the whole process of recovery._

_I estimate that the investigation in Brazil will take place soon. If there is anything I can do to help, don’t hesitate to ask. I am willing to do whatever is necessary to bring to justice the man who has harmed you._

_Around here, the routine remains the same. I continue my research with renewed effort, now that the hours seem longer, without your presence to fill the time with friendly discussions. Some matters remain unfinished and I hope that someday we can resume them._

 

Dean stopped reading for a moment. What did he mean by that? Was it a veiled way of telling Dean… that he missed him? He couldn’t believe it and he continued reading, to see if there was any confirmation of that in the next paragraphs:

 

_The other day, visiting checkpoint number 6 (I hope you remember where it is), I found an increase in insect activity, indicating that the swarm is expanding. That was comforting and I hope I can verify the same occurrence elsewhere. I wish you were here to see it too._

Dean remembered where the _'checkpoint number 6’_ was. How could he forget? It was the place where they kissed under the tree after their first night together. It was the place they had sex in the forest for the first time. Had he said he was thinking about that day and wished it would happen again? Chills started to run down his body and his head throbbed even more. Cas couldn’t be implying what he thought he was. Was Dean, in his eagerness to have his feelings reciprocated, coming to erroneous conclusions?

 

_Well, I think I've extended myself more than I wanted to, but I feel like we're in the midst of one of our heated debates about some controversial subject. I often find myself looking for arguments to refute some of the things you said during one of our conversations. At other times, I have to admit that many of your statements were well placed and I should have analyzed them more carefully. I sincerely hope that we may one day be in a position to continue our discussions. I am sure that in a matter of minutes I shall regret saying that on many occasions I have had to agree with your points of view._

_As a last note, I need to tell you that I laughed when I found the candy wrapper. I didn’t expect you to try it, but I'm glad you enjoyed it, unlike the juice, which never seemed to have received your unconditional approval. I believe that the fruit having a lot of sugar added to it and being covered in chocolate has made all the difference._

_Well, I fear I bored you with this long account. I take this opportunity to thank you for the privilege of knowing you, which has greatly increased my appreciation of life._

_Sincerely,_

_Cas_

Dean remained with the letter open in his hands for a long time.


	16. Chapter 16

Castiel woke up in an unknown place. It was a well-furnished room, in what looked at first glance a luxury hotel. He quickly rejected the idea, remembering Dean's account of the yacht belonging to the millionaire that had tortured him.

He was lying on a bed, on white sheets. Beside it, on a modern table of glass and steel, there was a tray covered with a white linen napkin.

He wasn’t bound or restricted in any way, except for the severe pain on his head.

He held his head for a few minutes, trying to think clearly, which was difficult. His throat was dry and he forced himself to his feet and went to the table to see if there was water at his disposal. After having a few sips and looking with contempt at the elegantly arranged meal on the plates, he looked around again. There was nothing he could use to defend himself or escape.

He sat on the bed, waiting for someone to show up.

He slept again, overcome by pain and this time he was awakened by a soft touch. A dark-haired young woman looked at him with a smile on her lips.

"Good afternoon, Dr. Novak. I hope you're feeling comfortable. But I see you didn’t eat anything. I advise you to feed… I don’t know when you will get the chance again. "

"Are you ... Ruby?" Cas asked.

"Ah, I see that our common friend has spoken of me. I hope he told you about the good time we had. He is a very impetuous man, if you understand me. "

Dean had told him that the women had been used as bait to lure him into the trap. He knew the way Ruby and Lilith tricked him in and this made him feel jealous. He thought that this beautiful woman had also known him intimately. Did her last sentence suggest that she suspected that the two of them had become sexually involved as well?

Castiel didn’t respond, just stared at her. That made Ruby laugh out loud. If it was the confirmation she expected. He'd inadvertently given her the answer. But now it was too late to regret it.

She left him alone again, at the mercy of his fears, for himself and for Dean, wherever he might be.

 

Dean had spent the morning in his office and hadn't been able to complete any of his tasks. Officially he attributed his inefficiency to the migraine, but he knew that it was Cas’ letter fault. He should have gone with Victor, must have protested more vehemently when his therapist suggested he should stay in Washington.

At lunchtime he tried to communicate with his colleague. He could not calm his anxiety now that he realized that he had been wrong about Cas all the time.

After several unsuccessful attempts, the communications officer had finally gotten hold of Agent Hendricksen:

"Victor. Hello. Where are you? "

_"Good afternoon, Dean. Is everything okay? We're on our way to Dr. Novak's house. We should get here in a few minutes."_

"Could you... call me back when you get there? I need to ask Castiel something about that place... "

_"OK. Just wait, I'll call you back as soon as possible. "_

Dean waited for the call, his lunch untouched in front of him. He thought about what he was going to say to Cas, knowing that this connection was going through the Bureau channels. It had to be something meaningful, something only Cas would understand. Dean was exasperated. Time passed too slow.

He ate some chips from sheer anxiety, but it also made him look at the burger with disgust. Cas had been the cause of many changes in Dean's life, but this was beyond the imagination, he thought.

The phone rang and Dean immediately answered:

 _"Agent Winchester, there’s an urgent call from Agent Hendriksen,"_ the voice said.

"Hi, Victor."

_"Dean... Did Dr. Novak know we were coming today?"_

"Of course, I’ve... why?" He asked apprehensively.

_"Um, there's no sign of him in the house. The bed is made, there is no sign of activity in the area. Did he told you anything? "_

"No, he must be nearby... you didn’t specify you arrival time after all." Dean tried to stay calm. Cas' absence was troubling for he was a responsible man and he said he would help the agents. He should be there.

 _"Let's do a round on the perimeter of the lodge. Stay on the line so we can let you know the progress of the action, OK?_ _"_

Dean waited, but not for long.

_"Dean? Dean? "_

"Yes, Victor? Any news?"

_"Um ... we found a pair of boots about 100 yards from the lodge. They were left close to a tree, far from the path to the boat. "_

"And?"

_"There are signs of blood on the ground."_

"Fuck! Victor... keep looking, please, maybe he had some problem..."

But Dean feared the worst. His head began to wonder who could have access to information that the FBI team was going to meet Cas and where his lodging was. Maybe someone inside the Bureau? They could not rule out that possibility. But another idea formed in his mind and he had to investigate. He didn’t understand how he hadn’t made the connection before.

He looked for the website of the Boston University. He quickly located the projects page to see if Cas' research was listed there. His eyes eagerly descended the lines of text until they found the name _Novak_.

  * _OCD and Its Repercussions in the Tropical Rainforest of South America \- Dr. Castiel J. Novak, Amazon, Brazil._



He clicked the link that led you to a summary of his research. In few paragraphs, in what he acknowledged to be Cas' objective writing, the reason for the research and its practical implications in the short, medium and long term were explained. Below was a list of companies that financed it. Dean read the names with interest:

  * **_UNEP - United Nations Environment Programme_**
  * **_American Conservation Association - ACCA_**
  * **_Bayan Tree Foundation_**



The list was long, there were more than twenty NGOs and private companies funding Cas’ research. At the end of it, among the last three Dean read, terrified:

  * **_Heyerdall Foundation for Rainforest Conservation_**



Dean was certain that his friend was in danger. He called Victor again, his heart pounding.

"Any news?" He asked anxiously.

_"There are signs of something or someone having been dragged towards the river. He must have been taken against his will. How could anyone know of his involvement in the investigation? "_

"The Heyerdall Foundation is one of the entities that funds Cas' research, Victor! We should have been more careful... I’m leaving for Brazil as  fast as I can. Go to the place marked on the map, hurry! Please, you must find him! "

_"OK. We’re going there now. I’ll call you later. "_

Dean knew he had no time to lose. He contacted who could get him to the Hendricksen team as soon as possible. He should have been there with them from the start.

 

Castiel was kept in the room all day. Night had fallen and no one else had contacted him. He had been hungry and had eaten the fruit on the tray.

The pain in the back of his head bothered him greatly. It didn’t let him think straight.

He heard people talking in other areas of the ship. The yacht must have been full of employees. He wondered if Heyerdall was also aboard and that thought filled his heart with hatred. He would give everything to be face to face with the man who had done so much harm to Dean. But for the moment he knew he was helpless.

He decided to rest so he would be well if there was any chance of escaping.


	17. Chapter 17

In less than twenty-four hours Dean was back in Brazil. As soon as he landed in Manaus, he went to the agents who were using Castiel's lodging as a base of operations.

Walking the well-known trail from the river to the biologist's house, he felt he was carrying a heavy burden. He felt guilty for having exposed Cas to danger. Where would he be?

Victor greeted him, his face grave. They had already gone in search of the place of captivity, but their two searches had been unsuccessful. Dean didn’t understand how they couldn’t find the place that was marked on the map.

Dean walked toward the simple building that had been his home for a few weeks. Castiel's was the soul and the warmth of that place. Without him, it was nothing more than an empty box.

"Victor, I know you were there today, but I must go myself in search of the site. I've been there and I remember where it is. "

"Right, right. I'm going with you. "And they left quickly, taking with them the necessary equipment.

After two hours, they reached the stream where Dean had been found. They moved on, but time passed and Dean, despite recognizing the environment couldn’t find the hideous place built by Heyerdall in the forest. When something familiar caught their attention, they would disembark to look, but they found no trace. Dean could only believe that the millionaire had ordered its complete destruction in order to stop the investigations.

He had hopes Cas was being kept there, but in its absence he began to wonder if his friend was still alive.

 

Castiel was isolated in that suite of the yacht for another day, but the threats of Ruby regarding the food were false. They brought him another frugal meal and some water. A short man dressed all in black had followed the waiter and looked at him sharply, but he didn’t say a word.

He had decided that the best way to fight would be to keep his energies and stay calm. He knew FBI agents were in the area, and a yacht like that wouldn’t go unnoticed. He expected to be rescued soon enough.

At dawn the following day he was shaken by female hands. A woman, a blonde this time, had woke him up and ordered him to follow her. He was taken to a small but powerful boat that would be piloted by the same man in black. Castiel was handcuffed and the woman would accompany him on the trip. Then they left for the forest.

 

Dean had returned from the expedition feeling helpless. He didn’t know what to do. He sat, desolate, on the edge of the deck, hiding his face in his hands. The other agents had already set themselves at ease and used Castiel's kitchen and supplies to prepare the evening meal.

"Dean, come. Let’s eat. Then we'll discuss the action plan for tomorrow. You must be tired and hungry. "

But he didn't feel like eating. He felt fatigued to the extreme, sweaty, dirty. He would take a shower and sleep for a while if he could.

"Thank you, but I think I'll take a shower." Knowing the place, he went to the bedroom and opened the closet, looking for a towel. He had brought his own things, but the urge to be close to Cas was driving him crazy.

He took one of the towels and pressed his face to it, inhaling deeply. A wave of memories flooded him.  _Cas_. That masculine scent that emanated from the towel... He sat on the bed and touching the sheets he could almost imagine himself surrounded by his strong arms. He stood quickly and walked towards the bathroom, before he showed signs of his sadness to the other agents.

He closed the door behind him and looked in the mirror. He took a deep breath and began to undress, remembering when he'd been with him in his the first shower. How Cas had been naked and Dean had seen him like that for the first time. His head hurt again. He opened the cabinet behind the mirror and searched for a painkiller. As he touched one of the boxes, a small piece of paper fell into the sink.

When Dean he picked it up, he saw handwritten words. There was a numerical sequence and a phrase, in a crude handwriting, _"I saved you. C."_

Castiel saved Dean. But he never said that. Another person, whose initial was the same, said so. _Crowley!_

The numbers seemed to be cartographic coordinates, left by Crowley for Dean to find. Was it another trap? Crowley hadn't killed him when he should have. Why? Would he be interested in the arrest and conviction of his own boss?

Dean decided he would find out just what the bodyguard wanted. He would not expose others for a matter of intuition. He showered and changed into clean clothes. He felt invigorated and planned what to do next.

 

The agents were exhausted, unaccustomed to those climate conditions and the relentless pursuits of the past two days. They had already settled down to sleep and Dean sat at the table on the deck. Victor was in the hammock, outside, preferring it to his own sleeping bag. He slept soundly as Dean began to walk toward the speedboats.

He took the GPS, his weapon, a satellite phone, handcuffs and some supplies - water and energy bars - for the journey that would be long. He supposed that if he left at midnight, he would only reach his destination at about five o'clock in the morning. He quickly refilled the boat tank and left.

Piloting the boat in the dark in that unknown region proved to be a challenge for Dean. But he had Cas in mind. Only Cas. He had to save him, even if it was necessary for him to surrender to his aggressor.

By the time the first morning light came on, Dean was approaching his destination. He decided to stop a few miles upstream and hide the boat. He would walk the est of the way.

He did his best and started walking toward the coordinates he believed Crowley left for him. Dean left the paper on the bed, so that the other officers would know where he was when they noticed his absence.

He hoped this would only be hours after his departure. If they wanted to come after him, he hoped that happen when the situation had already been settled.

As he approached the place, he began to walk slowly and carefully. He searched the forest around him for some hostile sign, but there was none.

He continued until he reached a hut, built around thre trunk of a huge tree.

He crouched and waited there for a few minutes, watching before taking some action. There was no movement in the vicinity of the cabin.

He crawled forward until he could peer through one of the cracks in the walls. What he saw made his blood freeze in his veins. He got up and walked to the door. It was open.

Dean entered the hut, the light seeping through the holes in the roof. He walked carefully, but soon he saw the shape of Cas on the floor next to a wall.

He ran toward Cas, fearing the worst. He trembled as he touched him, but he felt a tremendous sense of relief. Castiel was alive, though he breathed almost imperceptibly.

"Cas... _Cas.._." he called softly as he wrapped him in his arms. His face was bloody and he didn’t move.

Dean felt his eyes fill with tears and took a deep breath. He had to be strong, there was still hope to get out of there as quickly as possible.

He touched the man's face in his arms with reverence. Cas had saved his life and Dean was going to return the favor. He never thought it would be like this.

He stood up slowly, leaning his unconscious body against his bown so he could carry him out.

He walked toward the door and stopped abruptly. Crowley was blocking the passage.

"Hello, Dean. I see you found your friend. Too bad you didn’t listened to my advice when I saved you. You shouldn’t come after Heyerdall. "

"Let me go, Crowley, he needs medical attention. Let him live as you let me. He deserves so much more than I do. "               

"Ah, how romantic... But I can’t do that. Heyerdall already suspects that I let you go, even if I  staged your escape to the tiniest details. I still have the mark of the blow in the head _you gave me_ that night. "

Dean had imagined that Crowley had staged his escape, including inflicting on himself an injury that would have been caused by Dean in his desperation. But he didn’t understand his presence here now.

"What do you want from me, Crowley?"

"If you're wondering why I did what I did... It was to protect myself and I'd do it again. Alastair is coming and he shouldn’t find you here, just your dear Castiel. I took care of him and our friend Heyerdall is coming to finish the job. Maybe he'll have a little fun, as he had with you. He's a pervert, you know. "

Dean felt the bile rise through his esophagus. The  idea of Cas going through what he had made him feel sick. He had to get him out of there as soon as possible.

“Get out of the way, Crowley, I swear I'll kill you if you don’t let me get out of here now!"

"Shut up, you idiot. Listen to what I have to say. I hid some equipment in the cabin. Everything will be recorded. He'll be here in a few minutes. Stay hidden, wait and you will have your evidence. I'm only asking you not to interfere. "

"I understand. And you, by your collaboration, get an out from all of this. And maybe even a piece of your boss' operations. "

"Dean, you really are insightful for an FBI agent," he said with a grimace.

Dean turned and reluctantly placed Cas where he found him. He was still unconscious and Dean feared for his life.

Crowley showed him a place to hide outside and they waited for the millionaire to arrive.

Almost an hour passed and all the minutes were moments of anguish for Dean, who watched through a crack in the wall what was happening inside the hut. Crowley had moved Castiel from the floor to the wooden table and tied his hands beneath the tabletop. His legs were inert, and his feet leaned loosely on the floor.

The position he was in brought dreadful memories of Dean and he wanted to get in and take Cas away. All his senses screamed for him to act, but his rational side won.

Alastair arrived accompanied by Lilith. Dean looked at those hateful faces and held his breath.

"How is our guest, Crowley? Still unconscious? You did not finish him, did you? "

“Orders are orders, Mr. Heyerdall. He's unconscious, but alive.”

"Well, well... This one is not going to run like the other, right, Fergus?"

Lilith smiled, following every word said by her boss. She seemed to be amused. _Motherfucker_ , Dean thought. _Don’t touch Cas or you'll regret it_.

Heyerdall approached the table and, taking Castiel by the hair, lifted his head to enjoy the work of the bodyguard. He watched with a twisted smile the wounds on his face and head. Crowley rushed to his side, acting subserviently.

"If you want me to wake him up, I can do it. I know you like them to be awake when you have fun with them" he said, smiling.

"Not yet. I'm thinking of ending him myself, this time. To make sure he'll stay dead."

"Yes, sir," Crowley replied, and Dean could have sworn he heard a note of fear in those words.

"Lilith, what do you think? Will you need to inject a stimulant or will a bucket of water suffice in this case? "

"Let me see... I think water will be enough. We can save the stimulant for after you finish with him. "

"Excelent idea! Crowley! " He gestured to the man in black.

Crowley approached with the bucket and threw its contents at Cas' face. He immediately moved, breathing heavily as he choked on the liquid.

"Ah, I see you're back with us, Dr. Novak."

Dean remembered these words well and his chest was seething with hatred.

"Unfortunately your FBI friends could not find any evidence... Actually, they didn’t even find the captivity site. I blame you and your friend Dean Winchester for the destruction of that place. It's a pity I have to find another place to solve certain problems, but when I'm done here, I'll go find your agent. You two will pay for the setbacks you caused. "

Cas looked at him with contempt and struggled, trying to break free.

"Lilith, I know you like to watch. Stay while I make my points of view known to Dr. Novak. I believe he already knows what will happen, since he took care of Agent Winchester's injuries. "

The blonde woman laughed and pulled out a chair, placing it facing Cas', so she could watch him while Alastair did what he had in mind.

"Crowley, wait outside." He ordered.

"Yes, sir," Crowley said, stepping out and closing the door behind him.

Alastair walked around the table, slowly. He tortured Castiel with his gestures, acting without haste, making him despair waiting for the next move.

Dean was upset, wishing he could wrap his hands around that neck when he felt a touch on his shoulder. It was Crowley. He gestured for Dean to send a message to his teammates about his location. Dean did it promptly then turned his attention back to the hut to control Alastair's movements.

When he looked back there was no sign of Crowley, who seemed to have disappeared into thin air. Looking through the crack on the wall again, he became livid. Lilith had risen from her chair and pulled down Castiel's shorts and boxers. Then, indecently, he slid a long, red fingernail up the back of one of his thighs, causing him to shiver. He had his eyes closed and swallowed hard, still trying to loosen the ropes that bound his hands under the table.

Dean didn’t want to look, invaded by an immense sense of panic, as if he relived the moments of terror of months ago.               

Alastair circled the table again, grinning at Castiel's despair.

"I see you can hardly wait for what comes next, Dr. Novak. I believe you know what I'm going to do to you... Dean told you, I'm sure. Winchester, that ridiculous agent who dreamed of destroying me. But I'm going to destroy him. I'm going to start with you" he said with that nauseating intonation that Dean had come to execrate with his whole being. Swallowing his tears, he prepared to act, as soon as Alastair approached to hurt Castiel. he wouldn't wait for the other agents, who now he wished were on their way. Heyerdall kept walking until he stopped behind Cas. He admired the body of the biologist, who hadn’t given up and tried to break free.

"That's right, Castiel, fight. Fight! I like it when I find resistance. It excites me even more! Dean fought bravely, but in the end I subjugated him."

Alastair began slowly to open his belt. At the sound of the buckle, Castiel groaned and Dean saw a tear trickling down his face.

The millionaire unbuttoned his pants. He stopped, savoring the moment. Dean could see that he was already half-hard.

Castiel gasped, helpless. Dean hated it more than anything. He got up and walked to the door. He hoped he could get in before something happened.

The sound of the zipper going down was the cue for Dean to invade the cabin with his gun pointed at the millionaire.

"Stop, Heyerdall. FBI. "

Lilith threw herself at Dean, brandishing the chair in his direction, trying to defend her boss. She was strong and agile, but she was no match for the agent's fury. He pushed her and she feel hitting her head on the trunk of the tree in the middle of the room.

Dean turned to the table and to his surprise Alastair held a scalpel next to Castiel's jugular. He was holding Cas head up by the hair and Dean could see the look on Cas' face. It wasn’t panic, it was relief. He had more confidence in Dean than fear of Alastair.

The agent tried to think objectively. Heyerdall used Castiel's body as a shield and threatened him with the blade.

Castiel gave Dean an almost imperceptible nod, authorizing him to do whatever was necessary, even if it involved his own death.

Dean didn’t have time for hesitation. He looked and shot, hitting one of Heyerdall's feet that he saw under the table. Alastair screamed and fell back, releasing the scalpel, which cut the biologist's skin.

Dean approached, and in a second he had immobilized the millionaire, who struggled, yelling profanities. He had to be quick and see what was the severity of Cas' injury.

Touching his friend's face, he noted with relief that the cut was not deep and had not reached the main blood vessel. Then he met Castiel's eyes, and he smiled, letting the tears run free. 

He began untying the ropes that held Cas’ hands. Cas immediately tried to stand on his feet but he couldn’t. Dean wrapped his arms around him and held him close to his body. It was the best feeling in the world.

"Dean..." he began when his lips were touched by Dean’s.

"Yes, Cas?" Dean answered after the kiss, a smile on his lips.

"Shouldn’t you immobilize Lilith as well?" _Damn Castiel and his perfect suggestions_... Castiel made him forget for a moment that he had a job to do and then made a point of reminding him.

Dean propped him on the table and handcuffed Lilith, who was still unconscious. Castiel, meanwhile, tried to pull up his shorts, but the weakness made him swing forward, being caught by Dean’s strong arms. He helped him get dressed, relieved that nothing happened to Castiel of the magnitude that had occurred with him.

Castiel hugged him again and they stayed like that until Victor and the other agents arrived.


	18. Chapter 18

Officer Hendriksen had hauled Alastair and Lilith out to the boat, while the other officers had picked up the tapping that Crowley had planted in the hut. They had enough evidence to bring Heyerdall to trial now. After all, Dean had to admit that they were in debt to Alastair's bodyguard.

Dean had taken Castiel out of the abominable hut and examined his wounds, and there was apparently no more serious fracture or injury. There were bruises in various places on his body, but Crowley had not been as violent as Dean's interrogation.

They were now sitting side by side on the ground, leaning against a tree. Dean was gripping one of Castiel's hands, smiling, with his eyes closed.

"Cas?" Dean whispered, but did not want to disturb the moment of peace.

"Mmm?" It was the dark haired man's answer.

"You ... need to go to a doctor, Victor will take us to the hospital in Manaus."

"No, I do not want to go to any hospital ..."

"You have no wish in this, Cas, it's settled, I'll take you there even if I have to drag you!"

Castiel looked at Dean. He nodded. "But you're going to promise me something ..."

"Whatever you want, Cas. Just ask. "

"Promise me when... this is all over... Let's go back there. To our house. "

Listening to the word "our," Dean breathed a sigh of relief, and embraced Castiel with all his love, which was deep, though there was still no admission of it in words.

"I promise." He kissed him, not caring about Victor's approach.

"Sorry ... Can we go? I’ll take Heyerdall and you’ll go with Agent Edlund. He's going to take you to the hospital. " He said, embarrassed. "I have already contacted the Bureau and we are ready to take Heyerdall to the US. Should I... "he hesitated for a moment," suppose you will not join us back immediately, Dean? "

"I plan to stay to keep up with Cas' recovery. Don’t you think it’s right? "

Victor smiled at them and replied, "It is only fair."

 

Castiel went through a thorough examination and the doctors concluded that there was no need to stay in the hospital. His injuries were superficial, and only a few required stitches, like the cut on his neck. Victor was waiting at the reception desk impatiently.

"We're leaving in two hours. Let us know when you decide to return. Dr. Novak, I want to thank you on behalf of the FBI for all you've done for the investigation and... for taking care of my friend. "

"You're welcome, Mr. Hendricksen. He's my friend too. " He said with a smile.

The tall man walked away quickly, not before handing Dean a reservation for an hotel room for them in Manaus.

They went there immediately, exhausted as they were. Presenting the printed sheet on the reception desk, they were surprised when they learned that they would stay in the bridal suite, courtesy of their friend Victor. Dean’s suitcase had been left there and was handed over to him. Dean smiled and hurried into the elevator with Castiel, under the prying eyes of the receptionist.

 

"Oh, stop, Dean, that hurts."

"Cas, I swear... I was not that annoying when you took care if me... Be quiet and let me wash ..."

"I have more ability, Dean, that's a fact. These huge hands of yours... they're clumsy. "

They were together in the round whirlpool of the suite. Dean had stripped Cas as soon as they reached the apartment, heading straight to the bathroom. He was expecting a shower, but when he came across the tub he couldn’t resist.

"I don’t remember you finding them clumsy before." He laughed, glaring at Cas in a provocative way.

"For certain things they are perfect, but for that they are clumsy. Let me show you how to do it. "

Dean had no intentions other than to bathe and put Castiel to sleep, but the biologist seemed to have other ideas.

He approached Dean, straddling his thighs, which was met with a raised brow by the freckled man. Castiel took the liquid soap and poured it into one of his palms, which he then rubbed into the other.

He placed both hands on Dean's chest and began to move them in a circular motion.

"See, Dean, like this ... gently, but in firm movements."

That was what Dean had enjoyed when he took care of him and now he did it again, seeming to know that Dean appreciate it.

 His hands came up to his neck and the biologist joked that he was washing vigorously behind Dean's ears, scolding him, as he would a boy. But soon they wrapped themselves around the nape of his neck and brought their faces together,  initially in a soft, chaste kiss, but which did not stay that way for long.

Castiel looked like a thirsty man in the desert, running into an oasis. He embraced Dean with all his body and soon it was clear what he wanted.

Dean remembered that Cas was hurt and probably exhausted. It was no time for that, even if he wanted it more than anything. He moved gently away from Cas and whispered in his ear:

"Turn around, I want to wash your hair. I loved  when you washed mine. "

Castiel seemed not to be expecting it, but he smiled softly and stood up enough to turn around. When he sat down again, Dean had separated his thighs and received them between them. He pulled the other man so that he would lean comfortably on his chest and, grinning, kissed him under his left ear. He kept talking in whispers:

“You have to be okay, Cas, and I want to take care of you. I want to bathe you, wash your hair, feed you, help you get dressed. The other things will come at the right time, when you’re recovered and can do everything I imagined in those months that we've been apart. "

He felt Cas initially shiver and then squirm at the mention of _'everything I imagined in those months'_. But Cas said nothing to the contrary, simply nestled more against Dean's chest and replied:

"Yes, Dean. I want all this. I accept your proposal. "And turning his face, he kissed him on the cheek. "Wash my hair, then."

 

After bathing, Dean helped Cas to dry and lie down to rest for a while. He then called room service and ordered a meal for both of them. He smiled at the thought of Cas' reaction to his choices.

In fifteen minutes a knock on the door made him know that dinner had arrived. He hurriedly put on a robe to answer the door. He thanked the clerk who put the tray on the table of the suite. He undressed again, it was too hot for that. Silently he went to the bedroom and found Castiel asleep. His wet hair spilled over the pillow and Dean could already imagine what it would look like when he woke up: messy as he liked.

Smiling, he sat down on the edge of the bed, still staring at the tanned, lean but strong man, covered only by a sheet.

"Hmmm, Dean?" And snuggled against the side of the agent's body.

"Our dinner is here, are you hungry?" He asked quietly.

"I suppose I could eat something, yes." He began to sit on the bed, making a point of standing.

"No, no, stay here. It's part of the arrangement I bring your meals in bed. "And he got up, heading for the other room. He returned with the tray and placed it on Cas' lap, still covered by a napkin.

"Well, I hope you like my choices ..."

"Mmmm, what have we here?" He asked, smiling as Dean removed the napkin. "A cheeseburger? Is that what you call food for those who are recovering? " He said jokingly. Dean had remembered that it was his favorite food.

"It’s allowed since you haven't gone without food for long. And to compensate, the drink was a healthy choice, taste it." He handed him one of the two glasses with identical content. "Somebody told me it's very good for your health..."

"Cupuaçu! And you ordered the same? Dean, I think I should consider this a victory! " He laughed cheerfully.

Dean was still smiling, and as Cas took a sip of the juice, he attacked his own burger. It was not exactly like the ones he was used to, but it was tasty enough.

Castiel devoured his sandwich with appetite, eating not only his own as well as Dean's fries unceremoniously, enjoying the moment of intimacy.

At the end of the meal, Dean removed the tray, taking it back to the table in the other room. He found Castiel leaning back, eyes closed.

"I think I ate too much ..." He grunted, but his face showed satisfaction. Dean sat on his side of the bed again, cross-legged, facing Cas, his fingers caressing the biologist's ankles under the sheet. They had both remained naked after their bath and the naturalness of it enchanted Dean.

"Do you want to watch something?" Dean asked, pointing at the TV. He, in fact, only thought of 'watching' the handsome man in front of him, but he did not know what Castiel thought.

"Watch? What's that? "He asked, laughing. Years in the forest didn’t do much to keep Cas away from TV, which he had never liked. He would prefer a good book.

"OK. Talk then? "Dean wanted to talk but at the same time he feared this moment.

"Talking is a good idea, since we haven’t spoken to each other often. Start telling me about Sam, Madison and the baby... "

And so, Castiel, seeming to notice Dean's insecurity, began the conversation with a secure topic, about which the agent would be pleased to speak.

Dean talked about his family and how important they were to him. His affection for the nephew  was touching and Cas wished he could see him with the boy in his arms. He remembered his own joy with his daughter, but he didn’t let his sadness spoil the moment, directing his full attention to his friend's speech.

"What about you, Cas? What have you been up to these months? "Dean asked, though he could imagine the answer. Cas' life consisted of a simple routine, which he now remembered with nostalgia.

"The usual. Gathering data, writing my reports. I resumed writing my journal, which I would like to see published someday. I haven’t told you about this before, have I? "

It was Dean's turn to hear in Castiel' voice a passion for his private interest. It was a travel diary, which talked about the relationship between man and the natural environment, away from human coexistence. An account of his own loneliness, Dean thought, but in a positive light, as Cas could always do. In moving away from the horror of the family's death, he had sought a worthy cause, an object of study that would bring good to others. This was the man he'd fallen in love with... At this inner admission, Dean took a deep breath and lowered his eyes, embarrassed, as his feelings were clear on his face.

"Dean?" Asked the dark-haired man. "It's all right?"

"Ah ... yes ... I was thinking of... 'our house', as you called your lodging before." He tried to hide his feelings.

“Yes ..." replied Castiel "I have to confess that... after your stay I came to think of it as your home as well. When you left... " And he fell silent, unsure of how to proceed. If he'd told him what he'd felt, he would express feelings that Dean might not reciprocate. He couldn’t ruin the moment. But as he looked into Dean’s face, he thought it was already ruined.

Dean looked at him intensely, but his expression was unknown.

"Cas ... I need to ask ... Your letter ..." And he stopped. This conversation had reached a point where neither wanted to continue, but they knew they needed to.

"Ah, the letter ..." Castiel smiled slightly and looked down at his hands clasped in his lap. "I ruined everything with it, didn’t I? "

"Ruined? How? I wrote you an impersonal letter ..." And he finally understood what Castiel was implying. With a swift movement, he leaned forward and was held Castiel's face in his hands, his green eyes sparkling:

"Cas, when I wrote that letter, I was ... I wanted to write a lot more, I wanted to tell you everything, but... I think by now you realize that I don’t ... I don’t know how to talk about some things. "

Castiel's chest swelled with the possibility unfolding before him. He would have to cross this space, completing the gaps. When it came to what it was, he decided that he would:

"Dean ... I already know you well enough to see when you are suffering. And I see it in your eyes. Eyes in which I never wanted to see sorrow… There’s too much doubt in them. Dean, I... I love you, "he simply said.

Dean blinked, dazed by the confession. But before he could react, their mouths had already found each other in an deep kiss.

"Cas..." Dean repeated between kisses. His body acted instinctively, and he found himself straddling Cas' thighs, the months of estrangement becoming bold touches and gentle caresses. They reflected his undeniable desire and the delicacy of feeling that had been made explicit moments before. The caution expressed during the bath rapidly left the room.

"I love you, Dean. _I love you, I love you, I love you_... "Castiel could not stop repeating this truth, now that he had said it out loud.

Dean wrapped his arms around him, confirming in gestures what the other was saying. He knew that Cas understood his personal language.


	19. Chapter 19

The next morning, Castiel woke up early, a habit he had since he started living in the forest. He got up, went to the bathroom and thought about ordering breakfast, but decided not to do it yet, Dean seemed deeply asleep.

He returned to the room and what he saw filled his chest with admiration and affection. The strong, naked man was lying on his stomach, one arm hidden under the pillow, one leg stretched out and the other bent, totally relaxed. His features were calm, bathed in the morning light coming through the window. Dean was his, he was sure now. And again he wondered how he had never been attracted to other men before. And his mind, as always, answered him: _none of them was Dean Winchester_.

After a few minutes standing there, contemplating his luck, he couldn’t help himself and went to sit next to him. His willingness to touch and be touched was far from being satiated, so, kneeling beside the sleeping body, he kissed him between his shoulder blades. His fingers traced, reverently, the dozens of freckles on his broad shoulders. His lips trailed down Dean’s spine, Cas’ hands caressing the skin. He reached the recess of his back and left another kiss. Dean shivered and Cas was sure he was awake, even if he didn’t move. Feeling bold, he kissed the top of his buttocks, over the dimples. A tiny movement, a contraction in the thigh of his bent leg, told him he was on the right path. Each of his hands wrapped each one of Dean’s buttocks and he separated them lightly, a tongue running between them, descending. A moan was the other man's reply.

Castiel smiled and repeated the movement and this time it was possible to hear a hoarse call of _"Cas ..."_

"Yes, Dean? Am I disturbing your sleep? "Castiel asked, smiling. "If you want we can continue later, when you're awake..."

"Don't you dare stopping. _More…_ " he said in a deep voice.

Castiel moved into the space between Dean's legs and further separating his buttocks he focused his attention on the entrance, circling it with his tongue and teasing it with the the tip. Dean was gripping the sheets and squirming and Castiel wondered if he should move forward. He remembered what had happened the last time they tried it.

"Dean ..." he called him softly. "You ..." and he didn’t finish the thought because it was cut off by Dean, saying in a half-desperate tone:

"Yes, Cas, I want to, go on..." and he took from the bedside table the lubricant they used on Castiel the night before. He definitely wanted to try and Cas would do his bidding. It took several minutes to prepare him as Cas left wet kisses on Dean’s thighs, the back of his knees, his lower back.

"Cas, now, I need you... now..." But Cas wanted to make sure everything was fine and asked:

"Turn around, I want to look at you." Dean immediately moved, lying on his back and staring at him with dilated pupils.

Castiel pressed his cock into his hole and slowly pushed inside. Dean's eyes were closed, but his face showed nothing more than contentment. The biologist continued to advance and was surprised. It was very warm and tight and that was indescribably pleasurable. He closed his eyes too, to allow himself to get used to the sensation, and when he opened them again, he found a smiling Dean staring at him intently.

"Is it all right, Dr. Novak? Is the experience too extreme for you?" And saying this, he voluntarily contracted the ring of muscles around Castiel, who lost his breath momentarily. Dean laughed and closed his eyes again.

"Cas, now would be the the time for you to start moving... I didn’t think I would have to teach this to a biologist..." He taunted.

Cas began to move slowly, but soon his body was begging for more. At great cost he controlled himself, wanting to avoid evoking any remembrance of violence. He wanted the memories of the ignoble act committed by Alastair to be replaced by memories of an act of love.

"Cas... I... I can handle it. Do what you want, I need more... more "and kept moaning while Castiel charged with more strength and speed as he pumped Dean’s hard cock, trying to keep up the pace.

Castiel didn’t take his eyes off Dean's face, which expressed only pleasure. Out of his parted lips escaped moans and disjointed words of encouragement. Wanting more, Castiel lunged forward and kissed Dean, who was panting. In the kiss he felt the moisture cover his hand and the belly beneath him. He kept stroking until Dean was completely sated, before he reached orgasm with a hoarse groan.

He lay down, totally relaxed beside the other man. His breaths were still racing as Dean turned in his direction and, leaning on one elbow, kissed him on the temple.

"Thank you, Cas." A tear had formed in one of his eyes and was slowly descending his face until it was picked up by Castiel's thumb.

"Don’t cry, Dean, don’t cry any more, please...” Cas said softly.

"And who told you that every tear is of sorrow?" And he kissed him tenderly on the lips. "I love you, Castiel Novak."

Castiel was taken aback by the statement, knowing of Dean's difficulty in expressing his feelings. He opened his eyes and touched the freckled face in disbelief.

"Don’t look so surprised, Cas. I love you and I don't know why it’s now so easy saying it... and I want to say it over and over, because you deserve to hear: _I love you._ "

 

They lay in bed all morning before deciding to get dressed and leave the room. Dean lent some of his clean clothes to Cas and they could barely leave when Dean saw the jeans lay low on the dark haired man's hips. The hip bone was on display and it distracted Dean from everything else.

Castiel laughed and hugged him tightly. They went out to enjoy a sunny day and the fact that they were in love. They didn’t know what the future would bring them, but they would celebrate the present day.

They headed toward a restaurant that served typical local food, which Cas knew.

They sat down and only at great cost didn’t touch each other as they wished. They didn’t know how their relationship would be seen there.

A fish-based meal was soon served. Dean preferred red meat, but the local cuisine had a exotic taste that pleased him. Castiel explained to him how the dishes that accompanied the roasted and stewed fish were made: the cassava _‘pirão’_ and the _‘tacacá’_. Dean had never wanted to try new dishes, but Castiel's enthusiasm was captivating and he set out to taste them all.

  

Saciated, they went out for a little walk in the sunny afternoon. They had ice-cream made from a fruit Dean had never heard of sitting on a square bench.

Castiel was a little apprehensive about what he was going to say next. He didn’t want to ruin the moment they lived.

"Dean, I ..." he swallowed hard "I need to tell you something. I don’t know how you will receive what I have to say. If you think I was presumptuous... "

"I'll only be able to say what I think after you tell me."

"Well, I... you know that my contract with Boston University is valid for four more months only and..."

Dean was quiet, waiting for Castiel to tell him he intended to stay for another year to complete his research. Maybe he wasn’t ready to face life in the US yet.

"And... I have decided that I will not renew it. I've got enough data to write my thesis." he looked up carefully to find a skeptical expression on Dean's face, who simply asked:

"And?"

"Well, here comes what I feel uncomfortable telling you. I've been in communication with the University of the District of Columbia in Washington, and they... offered me a position."

"Do you feel bad for telling me that in a few months you'll be living in the same town as me?" Dean asked incredulously.

"Yes, I didn’t want to presume anything. I know we have something good here, but I don’t know if you want to take it with you back home ... "

 Dean leaned over and touched Cas’ tanned face gently and said:

"You and me in Washington is all I ever wanted, Cas. Living in the same apartment, sleeping together every night, waking up together... But now I'm the one who is assuming too much... "

“Are you... inviting me… to live with you?" Cas said, wide-eyed.

"Actually... I meant to tell you this in another circumstance, but I see that things never go the way we planned." He laughed, blushing. "Cas, this is not the right place or the time, but I... I really do want you to marry me. But I don’t know if... "

The answer came fast, in the form of a deep, sweet kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pirão - cassava flour porridge, usually made with seasoned broth from the cooking of vegetables and/or meats (fish, poultry or red meat animals).  
> Tacacá - Broth made with cassava, shrimp and seasoned with garlic, salt and pepper, to which is added jambu (a herb with the property of causing a tingling sensation in the mouth.)  
> 


	20. Chapter 20

"Dear friends, we are gathered here to witness the union of these two men in matrimony."

Castiel was standing under an arch of tropical plants in the garden of Sam and Madison's house. Bromeliads and orchids adorned the seats where the guests sat informally. In front of him, holding his hands was the man he had saved from death in the Amazon about a year and a half before. They both wore white shorts and simple short-sleeved shirts. Dean, who had hitherto avoided wearing shorts, now that they were no longer in the rain forest ( _why highlight an aspect of myself that I think unattractive?_ ) had been convinced by his groom, with the solemn declaration that his bowlegs were one of his sexiest attributes (if he had ‘revered’ said legs afterwards, this was something that would only be known by the two of them).

A word spoken by the minister presiding over the ceremony echoed in their ears: ‘matrimony’. It was all they wanted and this dream was about to come true.

"An unusual encounter brought them here, united by a unique feeling. A feeling that made them overcome their difficulties and seek a joint life based on respect, tolerance and mutual support. This love, which was born in difficulty and flourished in coexistence, must be celebrated by all of us. "

Castiel was radiant and saw the reflection of his state of mind on the freckled face in front of him. He thought of everything that had happened and how Dean’s happy face filled his heart with joy. And also the fact they would soon be back to their private paradise. The university had lent the Amazonian lodge for a month, for the honeymoon. Dean had done it, fulfilling the promise that they would return to ‘their home’.

The minister announced that it was the time dedicated to the vows, awakening the dark-haired man from his reverie.

They looked at each other nervously, and Cas, as they had agreed, would be the first.

He spoke in his deep voice:

"Dean Winchester, we met in an unexpected place. Few people can say that they found their husband adrift on the Japura River in the Amazon. I can. And that meeting was the beginning of a new phase in my life. Or rather, it was life returning to my existence. I was in the dark and could not find my way. And suddenly, there you were: lost, alone, in need of help. Something in your  wounded countenance attracted me immediately and in time I could see that your interior was infinitely more beautiful than your exterior. Our story has a new chapter beginning today. And I am sure we will have our 'happily ever after'. " His eyes were bright as he stared at Dean's.

Dean cleared his throat and, holding Cas’ hands gently, started saying:

"Castiel James Novak, I was lost the day you entered my life. I was in a place far beyond anyone could return. But with your kindness you instilled in me the will to live again. You gripped me tight and raised me from perdition. You showed me the light. And today, in this light we share, I want everyone to know: even if you don’t believe in angels, you are living proof of their existence. From the beginning your hands held me close and your wings lifted us up. You brought me to paradise, where I know we will live forever. "

At this moment there was not a single pair of dry eyes among the guests. Some, like Sam, cried openly, venting the relief of this story having a happy ending. In Madison's lap, little John struggled, not understanding why he couldn’t run to his beloved uncles.

The minister continued the ceremony, according to the established ritual:

“Castiel James Novak, do you take Dean Winchester to be your husband? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, forsaking all others and holding only unto him?

"I do.”  He said softly.

"Dean Winchester, do you take Castiel..."

"I do!" Interrupted Dean, which made everyone laugh with his anxiety. The minister chocked a laugh and added:

“Dean Winchester, do you take Castiel James Novak to be your husband? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, forsaking all others and holding only unto him?

He lowered his eyes, blushing, and answered again:

"I do... as many times as necessary." And he looked into Castiel's eyes, uplifted by the blue he loved deeply.

After the two had avidly and cheerfully confirmed their willingness to receive one another in marriage, they exchanged simple silver rings in which, in addition to their names, were inscribed the coordinates of their little lodge in the rainforest.

At the end of the ceremony, the stubby man who had officiated their marriage said, addressing both at the same time, with a smile on his lips:

"You may kiss the groom."

The two exchanged a fiery kiss in front of their family and friends. While they were still engaged in that sweet activity, small feet came up to them and two little plump arms wrapped around their knees.

Smiling, the two of them pulled back a little to look at John, who smiled back at them, holding his arms out to be lifted. Dean leaned and picked him up. Castiel put his hand around Dean's waist and they both walked toward their loved ones, taking their first steps together toward the future.


End file.
